distilling God's grace

Distilling.

It's the end of the year again. Previous year-ends have meant so much in terms of sharing and rebuilding and redirecting. Lately, the year-end is merely another day less to going home, another day to rush around doing all that needs to be done.

What really needs to be done is to spend time with God. I feel like the bustle of having my sis and family around really stopped me from doing my qt. It was good to do family devotions, and pray with my sis... but I miss my alone time with God. I kinda think He must have know that too because today, Jah fell sick and cant meet me... thus giving me the whole morning to effectively spend my time with God and myself.

Looking back at 2004, I must say that this year has been full of God's grace. I've been through alot. Maybe not fire, and fury or brimstone or death... but tough studies, emotionally trying times, spiritual highs and lows and a lot of loneliness. I've learnt more than I imagined... about God, myself, my parents, my sis, my friends....

In this year of grace, I've kept my 4.0 (important for scholarships), I've completed enough courses fitting 4.5 years of study into 3, I've dropped my graphic design major for an art minor, I've been to church camp, I've been up Mount Kinabalu, I've changed church in Tulsa, met new American Chinese friends, had Eileen come, became a leader on my wing, done a little bit of field experience, healed friendships, joined msn, started this blog, left my teenage years behind, got attached....

Ha. God has been really good though. I feel myself slowly becoming used to the idea that He really is full of grace and compassion, and that He's really accesssible. I have talked to God alot, but it's just that, I think this year... my conversation with God has been more integrated with my own life. I think more often than not, I sit and try to hear God for other people... which is good... but being able to hear Him even when I'm not in deep intercession... that something that I really think has surfaced more and more this year.

Well... So I guess i'm going to spend the rest of todasy waiting with open arms to hear from God about last year and the next year. For me, for us, for my family and friends... I guess I want to encourage you guys to take that little time off to think about what your year has been. Not in the "i need to share in 5 minutes" sense, but in well... just peace and surrender... knowing that the bad things that have happened will be redeemed, and the good things that have happened requires us to show our gratitude. Think about God, and our walk.. and distill all those memories... into a sense of knowing that somewhere, this year fits into a bigger purpose for our entire lives.

quickie

hey. I haven't posted for ages and ages. that's cos i've been happily sitting here in singapore....
ok.. not sitting. rather, rushing around madly meeting up with my beloved people and all that good stuff.

I've got just a couple of minutes before i go and start doing more important stuff to just random jot down interesting and good things
I love my family even though it really isn't easy spending time with thme sometimes.
I love someone else. haha =) a lot of people actually.
Becky my darlingest best friend is back. she misses thailand. but i'm glad she's home. singapore feels more complete with her around
Hozea... poor boy is tired and has to be in camp ALL day. thast makes me sad cos i don't get to see him! sigh.
Hazel... she's ok... just bored I guess.
My family went back to sabah yesterday
my house is clean, my clothes are washed and the area is packed. nice.
I am sniffing
I want to do something meaningful. I haven't sat and been nice and good for a long time.... just been rushing. which is fine.... but i need some down time.... meaningful down time.
WHERE IS SERENE?
haha. and of course. ARGH for the senior practicum that is not working out..

love you all. later!!! (when i get back to US ie. 5 jan)

Come join me!

Dear friend, you are invited to join En'ai/ Jeanette (whatever your preference may be) on the 10th December.

hey people, this is an "official" invitation to come join me on my birthday! I don't know what I'll be doing...hahah but we'll be having some kind of meal somewhere at sometime. I know.. you need details... so do i! but unfortunately... i don't have them. SORRY! I kindly refer you to Kel. Ask Kel whats happening.

It's not a birthday party or something like that... please don't feel obliged to bring a gift... I just would love to see you. and that ... would be present enough. So please come! come empty handed, but full of love... and that will be more than sufficient to make me feel special.

=) 3 days. haha... the phrase "so close, yet so far" is truly apt for this moment.

well... i've got 4 major exams within that time, and a take home paper to complete... packing and cleaning and saying goodbye and "Merry Christmas" to my friends here, and then i'll be ready to leave.... home!!! HOME!

yeah. back to work on that paper!

home ;o)

i'm a little lightheaded right now... blame in on the fact that my wonderful professor cancelled his classes for the rest of his week, or on the fact that it's FREEZING cold and wet outside, or on the fact that i have a pile of things to get done, or the lack of sleep...

whatever it is... I'm in a mood to be jumpy and hyper. It's down to single digits people.. I'm finally getting to go home. Gosh. I know you guys are probably happy for me... but just try to imagine how excited I am. I think God is SO GOOD. argh!

I'm coming home !!!!*accompanying jig around the room*

I still have classes, then 2 papers on Mon (6th dec) and another 2 on Tue (7th dec)... and then flying off on 8th (dec) at 6am... to arrive home on 10th dec (0000hrs) =) YAY!

lalalaa... important things to get done before i go home: pay next sem's school fees, hang in portfolio and illustrator projects, review for 5 finals, wrap up practicum, prepare gift for my girls, hold 2 parties for my kids and my girls... and get a place to do my senior practicum in summer.

ooh. I am just so excited.... 9 days to home...

I'm sorry, excuse the ranting. I just wanted to say hi. I don't blog often and I haven't heard from you guys (if you are reading my blog...) in ages... so tag me... say hi! leave me a couple of words of encouragement that I can make it through all this... and I will see ya SOON at home!

THANKSGIVING

Americans celebrate Thanksgiving in a pretty big way... I think the thing I like most about it, is the fact the family gets together and has fun... the food is not as big as everyone makes it to be, it's the company, and the memories...

I wish I had family here, so that at least somehow Thanksgiving would be important to me. But I am going over to Chris and Jenn's house, and will get a chance to be with family... someone else's family...

I am thankful to God for
Him! He has been so so good to me, even though I can be so awful. It just blows me away.
family, that least I do have, just that they are nowhere near me
an elder sister who is just... well. She's MY older sister, but i'm sorry you can't all have her.
friends that support and love me, and encourage me in way they cannot imagine
Chris and Jenn and Mason and baby Abigail, and Mr and Mrs Chow who have been so nice and generous to me here in Tulsa
a best friend who I know misses me, even though it's been a while
a break to do my piles of work, and to rest a little
a chance to go home in less than a fortnight
a special someone who loves me, and well, is just wonderful..
and a lot of other things that I can't begin to describe

just 2 more weeks !!!

Finally!

it's finally thanksgiving. Praise God that i've made it this far. This has been one incredible incredible semester so far... just having to rely so much on Him... =) but i'm really excited about my 5 days... I get to sit down and complete all these assignments, and study for my finals, and finish up these 8 classes (well, one HPE class down.. =P) strong!

you dont want me to list out all i have to do within the next 5 days. but you do wanna hear this.

I'm happy. I really feel like coming home. I miss you guys, and spent time praying for camp and people back home just now.

coming home!

i realised that I was miscounting. so that's why I skipped from 19 days left to 17 days. Cos you don't count the day that you leave =) yay! 17. that's incredible.... that's exciting, exhilarating... and kinda scary. I shant bore you with all the things i have to do. Most of you are having fun at camp, and by the time you read it'd be less than 2 weeks.

by the way, for all of you who don't know yet. I'll be back at 0000hrs on the 10th december 2004, and then leaving early morning on 4th january 2005. My parents will be back from the 22-28 dec, and so during that time, i wont be seeing you guys (not even for christmas I think... depends). but other than that.... please come hang out with me. I miss you all so so so much.

if you guys didn't know, the 10th dec is also my 20th birthday. =) so... if you are free on that day, it would be wonderful if we could all go for lunch together... i know at night got leader's meeting... so. BUT yeah. my brother will be in singapore too. I dunno.. find some place to just hang out and all. anyone interested?

yeah... and no need to come and pick me up at the airport lah. I guess i'll be so tired that I'll want to go to bed immediately... despite oversleeping on the journey home.

haha. questions, comments?

ooh... just have to say this. i'm going to miss my best friend terribly terribly terribly much.

drumroll please

Announcing the arrival of Abigail Chow!

http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EegNG7JmybtWGx

yay!!!!

oh wow. I am so so so blessed.

I was so shocked when I heard from the girls in my wing that they saw a package with "Chen, Jeanette" written on it sitting on the post office shelf waiting to be picked up. I never got to the post office unless I was expecting a package... and of course, I was not expecting one.

THANK YOU Ivin and Joyce. =) haha.. I guess i will send then a thank you card later, cos I'm pretty sure they dont read right? but if you all see them before I get to them, can you please tell them how grateful I am? The package really really brightened me up, and it was not getting the goodies, but just knowing that someone back home cared enough about me... God is really really good to let me have people who love me. (Becky will understand the sentiment behind the getting food in the mail i'm sure!)


For all who are interested.. =) I got

care package from joyce and ivin
(In clockwise rotation beginning from the PEZ.
- Hello Kitty PEZ sweet
- Movv and Mov's hairclip (can anyone remember the blue/orange ones I had in sec 3/4? oh my.... I loved them)
- Mug noodles (very cute! got cat and pig... don't ask me what flavours they are though)
- Hello Panda (strawberry, chocolate and milk)
- Hello Kitty strawberry sticks
- Winnie the Pooh chocolate sticks
- Milky milk candy
- Orange Polo sweets (now this one is something I've never seen before)
* haha... i'm so blessed!!! =P
*hug* thanks guys!

but you know, what really really really topped it off, was this letter from Hozanna... just to hear from someone back home... something personal... haha... I think i've read this letter like 5 times in the last 12 hours that i've had it! I haven't got a real paper letter in forever.... of course, I haven't sent out one either... but receiving letters is awesome!!

letter from hozanna

it's 7 days to thanksgiving.there's a new song running around inside my head.my room is really clean and i'd like to keep it that waybut it does not reflect my state of mind or heart.Adam plays the guitar really well, but i'd like to give him a punch for embarrassing me.it's not his fault.I've got a lot of homework, and i'm under no academic stressdoes not mean i'm not stressed though, but there is more to life than homework.I'd like to watch a sweet movie.Even work at my slack office assistant job is picking upso much so they got me an internet connection and a phone line.oooh. I learnt new chords from Adam today.I miss msn, i miss talking to people, i miss you.i've got 22 more days to home

counting down...

if you've seen me online, and i appeared to ignore you, i'm sorry. Maybe i was not there, but i left my computer on, maybe i was there, but busy doing my homework, or something else, or maybe i just couldn't talk to you.

ask me how I am, i'd say "busy and tired": standard operating response. but if you really wanna know, then i can tell you. i'm more than busy and tired... that's kinda physical... but emotionally, i'm stressed, frustrated, confused and just...

I want to isolate, not get hibernate but bury deep... I want to run far and soar away... but i want to stay grounded and work through it.

so... i'm sorry if i've not around like i am usually. i know though, and you are constantly in my thoughts.

i hope that you guys have a wonderful week. i know you all must be excited about BAY camp... and that's awesome. I'll be praying that all of you will have a personal encounter with God and grow... both the leaders and the campers! =) because God is always there. =)

fuzzy brain, wet feet, clean room

in my head, there's a this fuzzyness. Like... you've turned on the tv, but all you get is static.

i walked in my socks (to keep my sports shoes from getting wet) in the pouring rain back from class tonight. It was FREEZING cold. and tons of fun.

i cleaned my room. it's been horrible since the invasion of the art project deadlines, but they've retreated to re-evaluated their assignments, while i've taken some control over my physical space!

good morning WORLD!

I've been up since 3:30am. That's 3 3/4 hours of sleep for last night, and 4 for the night before. You may ask why those hours. =) It's strange. I'm at that point where there's so much work that technically, I can't afford to sleep. But I can't do my work well if I have not rested. So, I go to bed when I can't take it (usually 11:30-12:30 ish) and wake up 4 hours later (round off) and begin work again.

This has kinda been good (i've done this since last wed?) because I'm awake by the time it gets to 6am, when I will change and do my QT. And it's really nice and quiet, serene and just calm. I love mornings. LOVE them.

So good morning world!

Today I declare that I will have dominion over all things. That God's power in me will accomplish great tasks and win great favor. That the strength that I do not have will appear, that the presentations, the projects and the assignments due will be more than acceptable. I speak life and healing into today. I will walk in faith.

And I say the same for you. I pray that you will have joy, peace, hope and experience abundant love today. That God will present Himself to you in places you have not met Him before, and you will have the sweetest companionship you've had in a long while. God whose love never fails will be your shelter, your adventure, your sustenance, your embrace, your song, your anchor, which ever you need, God will be there to love you.

Amen. And good morning God. =)

God answers

this morning, I got up, and told God... that I was tired of sleepy quiet times when i don't get anything because i'm not able to open my eyes long enough to read. I wanted the word... and i wanted it to mean something. and well =) here is Isaiah 28:23-29, in my understanding.

The passage talks of how a farmer does not keep preparing to sow all the time, because he knows when the ground is ready to take the seeds. It then talks about how he will not use the wrong tool for the wrong job, or keep threshing the grain when it is ready to be ground. The farmer has such wisdom, because he learnt it from our Father.

In the same way. God knows each of us. He created us, and knows what we were intended for, when we are ready to face the challenges, and when we are done with that refining moment. Yes, with God it's a repeated process, but just as the farmer knew just how much beating and threshing the grain could bear, God, in His wisdom and love, knows how much we can take.

That spoke to me, cos i'm at the end of my rope. Facing bigger things than I thought possible... and it's not just schoolwork and grades, dont write me off as that shallow, please. It's about family, friends, future... what I do here, what I do EVERYDAY impacts my eternity. And while i cant be threshed everyday, it certainly feels like i'm being threshed now. =) But God knows, and He knows how much I can take, and He knows the right time for everything.

So.
Becky =) it's ok if we cant spend as much time as we wanted... God knows where we are supposed to be at that time, you out there, me back home.
Hazel, jia you... the challenges you face, in family and in school... and in church is what God knows you can handle.
Abby, there's a point where maybe you feel like you are ready... and maybe God knows when the time is perfect...
Cherie, triple science or not... you're God's tool in all ways and He'll know where to place you.
and you. I have faith that God doesn't put two tools like the plough with the yoke if they weren't meant to work together at the right time... so i'm praying...

this weekend....
1) organise
- clean up the chaotic room

2) do assignments
- story board project
- leadership presentation
- progress reports for counselling
- Ivey assignment (counselling workbook)
- Agency presentation
- and more.... (not due next week though)

3) REST
- I need to rest.
- listen to some jazz
- go work out and get endorphin levels up =)
- talk to people

haha.... i have alot of things on my plate... but they will get done. I'm almost done with the social assessment, and my progress notes are coming along.

I miss all of you guys though. You are on my mind. =)

as i eagerly strike off each day, i wish and hope and pray.
that time would fly by,and yet that it would stay.
i am living in the now for the future you see,
and learning to be as joyful as can be.

it's close to 5am. I got up at 3am to study. thinking about whether to go to bed for 1 hour and get up and work a little more. or keep working. or wake up 1.5 hours later and then to class and get it done. I'm a little uninspired for graphic design right now.

=) But God is good. =) SO GOOD!

Praise God. for whatever comes my way, I am blessed

in hibernation.

you know? I think i spend more hours online, in front of my laptop than any other activity. There is nothing so constant as this.

but these next few weeks. till at least nov 24th (thanksgiving break) i've decided that i really need to get down to studying and working hard. I have had 2 Bs for 2 major exams this week, (plus 4 meetings?) and it's essentially crazy. What with me being online all the time, i never can get enough motivation to study well and sleep well.

In the next couple of weeks... I HAVE to
1) finish my story board (11th nov)
2) finish 30 practicum hours (8th dec)
3) finish cd project (12 nov)
4) finish 25 service learning hours (1 dec)
5) finish brochure, slide shoots, digital shoots (3rd dec)

and then the usual weekly assignments and then finals immediately after the 5 day thanksgiving break. Yes... that may be a month away. Praise God that it's 40 days more to getting on the plane. But it's also 40 days of really really tough work.

so. i'm in hibernation. if you see me online. IGNORE me. please? email me if you need me... i still wanna be here for you. but for my sake, dont chat to me.

I'm going to miss you all. Serene.. =) my msn buddy..., abby, cherie, benben, kevin, hazel, and all.. but i have to do it.

on the weekends though.. =) i'll give myself a break. and then i'll be back on.... ok?

keep me accountable friends. make sure that i'm studying hard, that I am using what God has given me and making the best of it... that i am here to do well and glorify God. He's given me a love for studying and an ability to be disciplined. He and I can do this. I just need to get offline =)

this week was tough. i think i'm scraping bottom. that's ok. cos when i'm low and running ever lower, then like Elijah and the woman with the oil... God will just keep it coming. His grace is sufficient for me. in that truth, i can rest.

BA kids

haha!!! are you here? old picture of the BA kids!!! a long long long long time ago!


ba kids 1990

jie and I when we were small 

goodnight world

goodnight world.

it's 12.22 am... and i'm sleepy.

Goodnight God
Goodnight Mummy and Daddy and Jono
Goodnight Jie
Goodnight Becky
Goodnight Hozea
Goodnight Serene
Goodnight Benben, Hazel, Kel, Ivin, Joyce
Goodnight girls =) (Hozzy, Jane, Abby, Cherie, Cheryl... and more....)
Goodnight guys =) (Gabs, Tien En, Nick, Joel, Alan, Timo.... and some more...)
Goodnight everyone....
Goodnight you!
Goodnight world.

aw....

everyone together now...

"aw......"


eileen and mason chow
taken this sunday at the church playground.

girl talk

of sugar and spice and all things nice...

of giggles and smothered smiles while the homework piles...

of pain mixed with joy and stuff about boys...

of "arghs" and "yays" and happy days...

that's what girl talk is made of!

i refer you to serene's blog.

it was good, girlfriends rock!!! especially ones without boyfriends (smothered giggle). I can imagine if this was a pajama party... we'd be uncontrollable.

And you know what cool about all this? if we have more time, we'd probably have pulled out the bible a couple more times... than we already did! yeah.

God is good. He gave us hope and joy and friends to share it with.

because so many of you have asked "how?" and my answer can only be "God"!

walk through this with me.

Wednesday 18/10/04:

• I'm in chapel, and all of a sudden I want to speak, sing chinese. So i start trying to sing chinese words to the english songs. The easiest to sing to was "i have decided to follow Jesus"... dunno why.
• Really felt like I missed home so much on wed... it was the most trying day for me... and I was tired, burnt out and barely clinging on.
• Eileen calls about hmmm... 8 plus? and tells me about the tickets. and things turn around from there... we decide that it's either we both go back or we both stay. No one wants to be in US alone during christmas.
• Pros of goin home are evaluated: family! (in singapore), friends, birthday, christmas, new year, shopping, senior practicum interviews.
• I blog (the chinese song?), and start to pray that God will show...

Thursday 19/10/04

• Lorien replies my msg saying that I dont have to worry about coming back early because of APA responsibilities.
• My graphics design teacher and social work professor agree to cooperate with me, so i can take my exams and come home.
• Eileen's mum and dad kinda say "ok"
• Eileen decides that she really possibly really wants to do this
• I get a $10 rebate check in the mail... (its severely delayed and i didn't expect mail), more importantly i told God that " if id Your will for me to go home, someone has to give me money today".
• We decide that if the prices remain the same for friday, then we'll buy the tickets.

Fri 20/10/04

• My other two subjects are confirmed take-home finals.
• Eileen and I find tickets. 1027 and 1069 on priceline. They were bought.
• My mum is genuinely excited.

that's was my 3 day ticket buying experience. I think God is so good because.... because eileen and I were so positive about staying here.... but somehow something happened and He blessed our trip home. Money is still an issue, but hey... if God can do anything, He can definately take care of money.

I wanna testify!

God LOVES. He blesses, He proves, He speaks, He directs, He provides, He softens, He fills and He releases.

How can I have a God of abundance and everything so wonderful... and still feel at times that my situation is "impossible". Nothing is impossible, except the bad things. I dont think God can be bad, even if He tried...

i just wanted to say...

you are all beautiful

truly. we all struggle, we all have our weaknesses, we know our flaws. but you are all so beautiful.

i urge you. see your beauty, see it through God's eyes. don't see yourself through others, don't see yourself through what you have or have not done.

all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

but breathe. know God redeems and because of that, you are beautiful.

take your breath away

thanks for all those who have held their breath with me.

this piece of news took my breath away... and it will take yours too if you know me.

i am coming HOME!!!

got that? In DECEMBER.

and on top of that all??? give it a wild guess?

yeah. I'll leave that open. give it a wild guess. the better you know me, the more likely you'll get that one right.... =) and i'll tell you all when haha... the audience has polled.

Hold your breath....

pray with me.

something very very exciting may happen within the next 24 hours.

hold your breath.

我的心不在这里

我要回家！我好想念我的亲戚朋友们。 这里我很寂寞。让你们看一首歌，唱的时候。。。 我好像要哭。。。

飞越了二十四小时
来到一个陌生城市
心爱朋友不在左右
每当思念家泪水直流

我的心不在这里
好想念家的天气
天天有阳光洒在高楼与草地
我虽喜欢在这里
但想到冬天的来临
又得独自忍耐着寒冷冬天

但想到家的温情
那里我不会冷，也不会寂寞

心情沉重无法入睡
望出窗外欣赏夜景
当我看见星空弯月
不知不觉就想奔回家

不知道世界上还会有多少人
也和我一样正想着 要回家

story time

I think God is good. more than good. God is the God of over-and-above, more-than-more-than-enough, spilling-over, uncountable, awesome-kind of good.

let me tell you a story. There was this girl (lets call her A) who was brought by Sharon jie to camp. Another girl (called B) bunked with them and another girl. B was always busy with church camp stuff, so never really got to know A very well... but that was the beginning of something...

about 1-2 years later, A and B find themselves in the same discipleship group. They met every friday night to learn about God, and to be trained as leaders. A and B also began to lead sunday school worship in turns. For some time, A and B spent alot of time talking about God, building up faith, encouraging each other, going to seminars together, A helping B with schoolwork and writing letters. But... somewhere, something happened... and it all stopped.

B really missed A but never had a chance to say it. She never was brave enough. A never knew.

Then one day, something changed... A and B began to email each other and chat online (sorry ah... cant remember who emailed first... I think you right?? =P) and all of a sudden, truths began to spill out. The air was cleared of misunderstandings, the ground was laid ripe for a deeper friendship...

I think that was about 8 months ago. Haha. You know who A and B are right? (guess, give you a clue... one starts with a S-----) yah! I think God is amazing because at that time when we weren't being good friends to each other, I felt so helpless. One day, i'll read you my journal from back then. I'm sure your name pops out a couple of times.... more.... I prayed, and I was kinda sad that i did not hold on. But God does the amazing.

Beauty from Ashes.

doesn't that make you go WOW?

so let me tell you an accompanying story. About the other girl in our camp room... lets call her C. B and C had been childhood friends, though B could not remember her. But somewhere that had gotten lost as well, and they had only got to know each other better a year ago. But back then, B and C were good friends, they studied together, they hung out in BAY together and in sunday school too. So much so that C's then best friend got jealous.

B and C had a BIG HUGE MEGA fight one day. One that lasted almost an entire year. B was devastated... by the rejection of her love, the rejection of her apologies... all the time being blind to the pain she was still causing C. One beautiful Christmas though... Christ's love healed all that, and B and C forgave, and put it behind them.

They went back to being good friends. Really close friends. Through the really tough times... and I do not mean exams. But serious tough, dry times.... alone times. Ups and downs. Downs and ups.

But things change between friends, and as work and studies and friends and family and BAY and church and all crept into their lives... things changed. But God was still good. Because change is not bad dear. It didn't change the love B has for C, and it didn't change the love God has for the both of them, or the love that C has for B. It only changed the way they expressed it.

So C! (listen up!) B has something to say to you... something she says all the time. And no... she's not going to tell you that you are being __________. She's sorry she made you feel that way. She wants to say "you know, i love you, and i'm going to try to be there for you every time I can. But i'm just human dear. But God... God is there for you 24-7 even when I'm not". And C does not just have B as her friend, she has A too. and she has many many others... guess who? Like K-- and B---- and B-- and A--- and so so so many more.

and trust me. You. You are beauty from ashes.

ok. and that's the end of my story telling. =)

remembering the good times...

ok.. so serene's asking about the top prompted me to look for a picture I had with the top (see if you can spot it!) and i went into my ibook, into iphoto... and then was transported back to 2003... with all these fond memories... and well.. it took the whole night to finally get them somewhere and give them captions.. =) but i hope you guys will enjoy remembering with me... all the things that happened and all the wonderful people that i have in my life. I am deeply grateful! so.. here are some pics.. =)

http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EegNG7JmybtWGg

the shirt! 

fall break is coming to an end...

argh... let's see what have i done this break?

• I have fallen sick, and gotten well within 2 days (Praise God)
• I've been to Dallas and back... where I bought (besides food) a windbreaker, a pair of tevas, 2 long sleeved t-shirts and a correlle dining set for my mummy.
• I've done alot of assignments, and have a couple more to go.
• I've done like 10 practicum hours this week.
• I've run 1.5 miles twice (latest time is 12.09) and walked it once, and played badminton 3 times. Tomorrow we're playing again.
• I've read 5 story books... in a row... =P the Redemption series by Katherine Kingsbury. It's considered "Christian Inspirational". I'll say more later.
• I've eaten A TON of food. That includes chinese food, cheesecake, snacks (pringles, pocky, seaweed, wang-wang, yanyan... the list goes on), ice-cream, caramel apples and oh! cereal and bread.
• I've recieved a package from my jie, filled with good things. =)

but the highlight highlight of the week? was sitting in my room... sitting infront of this computer chatting to people back home. especially... yes =) especially you!

ok... so let me say something in defense of my "Christian Inspirational" novels, which can be read as boring, conventional, predictable, sappy love stories that have God in them. Yes and no... I like them because they are clean, they can make me cry and still feel hopeful, and God is always there in the thick of it. Maybe i'm narrow-minded... but i like clean, happy stories where even if it's not a perfect world, there's a perfect God. That's real life in the right perspective for me. I don't want to read trashy novels or thrillers... or some other books because sure, what they write about may be real life, but it comes from a world-view which is isn't God oriented... and can make me cynical, sick or taint me. So am i being a freak? haha.... i have a best friend who reads GOOD books... good literary type, solid stuff which i enjoy too. But she loves. And you know what? I love that about her. She's intellectual.... born to be smart and to engage. I've moved past trying to think i'm like that. I'm just a normal girl who loves to be cheered up by nice love stories that make me warm and fuzzy inside. What better to do that than a book that has God on every page but is real too? =P

yup. reading those books has inspired me though. I'm inspired to want to have a Godly family. one with close ties. i'm learning that parents are important. and i think i appreciate mine more too. because despite all the mistakes we make, time and time again... nobody else is watchign out for us like them... and they are praying for us too... Maybe you dont think so.... but really... christian parents are a blessing. Thank you Mummy and Daddy!

=)

Truth vs fact

someone asked me "how do you identify yourself" yesterday.. and then I didn't get a chance to answer. So... i you are still wondering.

I identify myself through the truth. I am a child of God. I am wonderfully made, precious and worthy of blessings. I have dominion, power and authority. I also am human, and am perfected in God's eyes.

What about all my characteristics? My personality? My passions? Are those not part of my identity? Well.. I thought long and hard about it... and my answer would be... they are not part of my true identity. See... here is the difference. Truth and fact are not the same thing. For example... ok... for example. Some people tell me i'm stubborn. That's a fact. The truth is that I am a person to whom God has given the capability to discern. The Bible says I have the mind of Christ. So... while i exhibit certain characteristics.... that is not who I truly am.

What if there's some discrepancy? Since we can't always be Bible-perfect people... well that's something that i'm working on. It's not part of who I truly am though... it's merely part of what I exhibit here right now... and a leopard can change his spots! doesn't make him a tiger... but he can change his spots! and.... well Jesus is the truth Himself, and He will begin to change you so that you don't have that struggle between whether your characteristics exhibit your identity... we all have to work at that... getting the truth to set us free from being trapped in our own sin...

Even good things that I know I have characteristics of... for example... being friendly... that's not my identity... that's just a characteristic.. it could change... and I could become not so friendly.. and I'll still be a God-created, wonderfully made child of God.

ok... so that's my truth vs fact, identity vs personality blog for today. =) ask me, comment me.... if you wanna say stuff... please!

Dallas pics

So.. i'm back... from Dallas... when i have more time i shall take a photo of all the stuff I bought there.... right now.... Just see these pictures yah? most of the time, we were eating and shopping, so nothing much to take... haha... so we ended up taking pictures for the sake of taking nice pictures.... and hey! they turned out pretty good.....

most importantly! look out for my new red windbreaker. =) haha... it reminds me of home.... of somebody's windbreaker that always gets lent out. A combination of two of them actually... cos one of the is red, the other is a pullover type... haha!! I win.. I have them both!!! yay!!!

ok.. it's like almost 2 am... and I'm still wide awake... sigh! =P have practicum tomorrow, so I think I better go and sleep, or do some work or something productive.

seeya!

i have this strange nauseous feeling... hmm... it's quite interesting. Like my throat is tense and wants to puke but the rest of me feels fine. It's all like.. in my throat. I dont think it has anything to do with being sick... i wonder what it is.

On another note. =) DALLAS tomorrow.... just for monday and tuesday. But well, that's wonderful. I do have homework to do, and I am trying to get it done, but it's been hard to concentrate...

2:00 AM

i went to bed at 7:30pm last night. I think i must have woken up at least 6-7 times by now... I got so frustrated with being hot that I went over to ling's room to sleep. I think that was a t 11:57pm. Slept there till about 1:47... i woke up 3 times there. Before then I got up at 8- something, 9-something, 10-something.... ARGH! I just wanna sleep through.

*yawn*

I'm not sleepy anymore though i think. I'm just woozy. I don't wanna turn my clock upside down though. I need to go to bed soon!

yah.... seeya!

at Madame Butterfly

we went to see Madame Butterfly last night, courtesy of Amanda's ex-professor that gave her tickets. It was awesome... and I cried bucketfuls. THis was the story that inspired Miss Saigon... whichwas just as sad....


on a not so happy note, I'm am sick. I hate being sick... and am rarely... but fever, severe cough, throat infection and er... blocked nose.... but am feeling slightly better now.... you know how you usually feel better in the day than night? yeah... that's how i feel. =P bleah

6-chapter test on wed

studying (playing with the webcam too)

so whats the major thing in my life right now? the social work exam and the developmental pysch 10-page research paper. that, and being tired, wanting break to come and just feeling a little blue due to the cold weather and the fact that while everybody will be home over fall break, i'll be here....

=) Phil 4:13 says that I can do all things through Christs who gives me strength. This week... i really need to do all things!!!

singapore times that you can call

well... this is my schedule translated into singapore time. I wont always be in my room when i'm not at class, but more likely than not I will be.. give or take days when I work out.... or when I go to bed!

mon: 2:30am- 1pm

tues: 2:30am- 11am, 12:45pm- 1:30pm

wed: 4:30am- 11am, 12pm - 1:00pm

thu: 9:30am- 1:00pm

fri: 4:30am- 7:30am, 9:30am- 1:00pm

sat: 3:30am- 2:00pm

sun: 12:30am- 2:00pm

see what I mean??? haha... so.... yeah. and it'll get worse with daylight saving... coming up in late oct if I remember right. =P

the open skies

i love tulsa skies. Of all of the physical reasons to make me stay here... (since if God says stay! then there's little discussion) it would have to be the open skies.

I quote Anne of Green Gables on this one.... "there's scope for imagination".

i think when i see the open skies, the beauty if it all strikes me deep inside.
something goes off within me, and all of a sudden, it's all mine.
He made it for me, it shows me He cares.
I'm not scientific, i don't know why the skies are coloured purple, pink, blue, orange....
I just know i liked it.

I miss you. I feel like such a wimp for saying so... but I do! I miss you!!!

I need to talk to someone.... like talk.... I haven't sat down, chatted on the phone about everything and anything for a long time.... at least long enough for me to want to pick up a phone and call someone.

and i'm really tired. theres just too much work to do.

thank God for Daddy.

I haven't talked to my Dad in ages... like seriously talked? probably since beginning June when I left Sabah. Other than that.... he has not said more than 5 sentences... and they run in this order

1) Are you ok? we haven't heard from you in a long while
2) Must take care of your health ok?
3) Do you have a place to stay this december?
4) We praise God for the good grades you have
5) I love you, bye!

But... i saw him online today, and with the new webcam, I invited my Daddy to see me! and it churned out some interesting msges...

"I want to see how my lovely daughter looks like"
"hello, keep smiling"
"looks like you close eyes"
"Hello why frowning?"
"small eyes but beautiful" (when I said I didn't close my eyes, they were just small)
"hello, you yawning?"

haha... it was hilarious.... just cos he reacted to every move I made! But more than that.... evern though it made me feel slightly awkward, he called me lovely! and thinks my tiny eyes are beautiful. and you know? if nobody else on earth thought that, then at least one very important person thinks so.... even if he might be slightly biased.

at least, I.... chen en'ai jeanette... unsophisticated, kinda klutzy, and just not picture perfect....
at least I am lovely to someone...

thank you HOZEA!

how can i thank you enough??? argh!!! thanks so much for giving me the webcam... it's SUCH a blessing!!!

today... i did bible study with serene.... and I mean.. we got to talk.. like a phone, but without the phone! It was so awesome...

and then... eileen and I... we just had so much fun and laughs... send me rolling on the floor cos it was just so funny....

and Kel.. and Kevin too... got to play with it a bit. I wish you could see it yourself though... =) soon ok? a couple more days till you are out of army!

and well... just.. =) thank you.......... You've blessed me so so so much!!! er.... I dunno what to say!

And thank you God... =) cos I know You give such good gifts.... Hozea is definately one of them... and so is the webcam...

You can love someone, and not show it.
You can love someone, and try not to show it.
You can love someone and show it.

and even though the important part... the love... which is substance is there... what you do with it makes the difference.

how fun!

http://www.mrpicassohead.com/

do something fun.... destress... play ART.

talking voices

something hazel said to me this morning has been echoing around in my head all day... and it got me thinking about some very interesting things.

"but was brightened again when you called... i recognized your voice straight away... its un mistakable"
9/26/20048:09:55 AM - Hazel

And I was just thinking to myself, how great it would be if God's voice was unmistakable, because right now, I really want to hear somethings from God. That got me thinking some more... which i'll just share here. Read up, cos if you talked to me, your name may come up!

1) We can recognise our close friend's voices... there wont be any confusion if you have spent enough time talking to the person, and frequently enough so that you have a good understanding of what he or she sounds like. Like how Hazel said... it's unmistakable. And with God, it works the same way too... if I want to hear God's voice, and be sure it's His, I need to spend enough time with Him to learn how He speaks...

2) When you spend enough time with a person, you begin to sound like them. I talked to Ben, and he asked me "So, how are you?" in a way that sounded exactly like Kel. I think that that relates to God too... the more time you talk to Him, the more you'll sound like Him to other people.

3) There are friends that you can talk to anytime, about anything and even non-endings become part of the conversation. Becky and I just started yakking away till she had to leave... and I felt like the conversation wasn't finished... but just to get 3 minutes with her was such a treat! I think that conversations with God don't have to be long ones... anytime you want to talk, He'll be excited to talk... He'll understand when you are rushing, but wants to hear about your rush anyway...

4) Talking... there are different levels. You can talk to someone and care for them and want to share what is happening and do that, but you don't connect. Sometimes you can get so focussed on what is wrong in the relationship, that you forget about getting the relationship to work. I spoke to someone today like that.... I think sometimes I get so hung up on "oh I'm not hearing God" that I forget to be still, and just know that He is God and I just need to approach Him.

5) Sometimes you miss a chance to talk to a person, but you get another chance. I missed Serene at the coffeeshop handphone passing around time, but she was online in the morning! I think sometimes we miss a chance to hear God's voice.... but we'll hear it again, maybe not in the same way, but just cos we missed one time doesn't mean He'll stop speaking.

6) Sometimes content is less important than the act of hearing and speaking. I spoke to a lot of wonderful people... and honestly, all I did was ask how they were... but getting to be in touch... that was significant. There are times when we have nothing to tell God about, then... we can just talk about not very deep things... but making the time and making the effort to be able to hear Him... that is more important.

Hmm... well, that's about all i'm thinking about right now... sorry if they don't all have to do with voices and talking, my thoughts wander alot! =)

But I know what i'm going to do... is get a little more time with God! hearing His voice and talking to Him=)

yay for Cedar....

"The banding of secondary schools is out, replacing school ranking tables which line up the academic performance of schools. In the top tier are Cedar Girls', CHIJ St Nicholas, River Valley High and Singapore Chinese Girls'. "
- Channel News Asia

OK.. i'm not a very good alumni of Cedar.... to put it bluntly, i've never been back to Cedar after I left except to collect my O level cert. Oh wait... i did not do that either! I got a friend to pick that up for me... =P I intended to though... haha. But. I'm still glad that they are doing well!

It was a pretty good school... in restrospect. It was there I learnt my discipline and hard work... and there I met Lisha, Chu Hua, Geri, Qiu and a couple of other people that have changed my life. I've never been much of a school person though.... But HURRAY for Cedar anyway!

talk to the world.

i talked to...

• kel
• hozzy
• benben
• becks
• abby
• hazel
• hozea
• timo
• mike
• dom

gosh.... I miss you guys (generic term please...) like crazy... cant imagine how happy I was to hear your voices, and hear how you were.... and strangely enough.. find that I have a larger blog audience thatn I ever realised! Well, that's awesome... because I put this blog up so that I could keep in touch with people back home... and I'm glad it's happening!

JOEL!!! =) Hallo! thanks for tagging.... eh.. next time I call... grab the phone ok? actually... it's just that last night I was very tired... so I could only talk to specific people... cos I wanted to sleep... this morning ah.. I woke up and have black circles... =P that's ok...

How am I? this week is slightly better and less stressful I think. I have an honors exam on tues which will be interesting because we dont really understand what they want to test us on...

ok guys! to church!
love you all!!

when we get married...

serene wants to be my bridesmaid. =)

i so rarely get a chance to talk to serene, and chatting to her was really good... but somewhere in our conversation we somehow got onto this topic.... so.... lets see

I want to help choose the songs that will play. I forsee that they will mostly be jazz or swing... sinatra, armstrong, and more...

I want a say in the decorating of the hall... if I had time, I think i'd like to do it myself actually.... same for the wedding invites and all... except photographs... can't take a pictures of myself...

I want my family there. My grandparents, parents and jie and brother especially.

Becky will be there. She may or may not sing a silly song... but she will be there.

I want to sing a song. =)

dont discount me as frivolous and the whole planning-my-wedding-before-i-meet-my-guy syndrome.... I just talked to serene and it sparked these random thoughts. Which are kinda interesting... it's not a big deal to me right now...

who is the other half in the "we"? and "when"? haha.. i dunno... not now, or in the near future.... I dont even know who you are yet... come find me!!! oh.. wait.... wait till 2005... or whenever God sends you. =)


and by the way, i'm still really tired. so this is a disclaimer.... if i dont make sense, ignore me.

funny random thoughts and things that have happened.... maybe not so funny ones too...

1) I got asked if I was interested in "hooking up" with a friend of this guy (whom i've met only once) because he really "digs" asian girls... and I'm a "nice asian girl". So... "you interested"???
that freaked me out big time... but i TRIED to gracefully decline.... probably ended up looking like a sputtering 6 year old... but that's ok. It was just hilariously random, yet freaky.

2) I've done my design project wrong, not once, not twice.... but three times! I keep making mistakes.... and I can't figure out why... But that's ok... cos my professors has been really nice and accomdating... haha.. he says he admires my "tenacity". I think he was just sick of seeing me at his door for the 3rd time saying "Mr Latta... I did it wrong again...."

3) This guy from my church here in tulsa, asks Eileen who he's met like 3 times... if there was anything going on between me and another guy! Haha.. and i think thats really random because... firstly.... the guy who asked eileen? I mean, he's never asked me! secondly... there's nothing going on. Of course... evil Eileen was like "you think leh??" and played around with him a bit till he got frustrated. I think guys are so weird sometimes.

4) I am going to get some time to drive today! that was random. Yiling just popped by to tell me that. Now, that's really on the spur of the moment....

5) I am so tired nowadays that i encounter alot of miscommunication. Like people say things and I get upset and then somewhere during the next day or what I figure out that it was all a big mistake. So... note to all out there... if you say something to me? say it TWICE. and then check if i understand you right. =)

ok... and now for the concluding thought of the day. I miss home. I wanna go home.... fall is apparently here and thank God the cold weather wont come for a couple more weeks... BUT. It's not just the weather. It's the people. And I miss home... and when I'm in a mood like this, I can almost justify the $1300 that it would take to get me back. BUT. well, eileen and I aren't going home, and I only have a little more than 7 months to bear it out. 3 1/2 months have gone by pretty fast... so... =) God is good. Therefore everything in my life will align to that!

seeya! bye!

gosh.... i've cried twice today. I feel so weak and useless.... and all i want is someone to listen to me and let me know that everything I am going through, well it's only human and that they'll be there just to hear me out. It's s hard to actually find someone who is willing to look past their own problems to listen to mine. I know... cos i find it hard to do too...

I guess that's why God is God. Because only He can give perfect love.

STAY AWAKE

it's not VERY late.... just about 12:30am. But i'm exhausted. Eyelids heavy, neck tensed, headache bearing exhausted. What am i still doing awake? Waiting for a friend to come and interview me for some work she needs to do. What i did today

6:00 am - woke up
6:30 am - QT
7:00 am- breakfast
7:20 am- work at physics dept as clerical assistant
8:50 am- social work practice 1 class
9:50 am- social work practice 2 class
10:50 am- chapel
12:00am- prepare to go to practicum site
12:30 am- lunch
1:30 pm- Walmart to buy stuff for class later
2:00 pm- arrive at Marshall Elementary School
2:15 pm: meeting with supervisor
2:45 pm: meeting with counsellor
3:00pm: prepping for class
3:30 pm: 14 7-yr olds, me and 3 volunteers do finger painting
4:40 pm: 8 8-yr olds, alyse, me and 3 volunteers with nature painting
6:00pm: head home, gulp down fruits for dinner
6:30pm: graphic design class cancelled
7:00pm: work on APA retreat group sign instead (unfinished)
10:30pm: shower
11:00pm: do hw
12:00pm: read text
and... that leaves me somewhere around here.... in between there, a couple of stressful things.

Biggest one is that my friend couldn't get her project done and i needed to help her with photoshop and editing stuff while i was with carolyn working on the sign. Felt kinda down about my practicum.... kids had alot of fun... but Alsye thinks i let them walk all over me. Other stuff I cant think about right now... my shoulders ache...

and thanks for bearing with me. I needed to vent

ohkay.. she came and so we're done.
1:10am: to bed.

4 and 3/4 hours to rest for another long day that will end at 11pm too.

it's been a good day!

I am blessed.

Thank you Melissa for giving me your pink blouse... just because I liked it. =) You have encouraged me and shown me that I am loved on my wing.

Thank you Jiejie... for the parcel, full of wonderful stuff from home. I love you, and miss you alot.

Thank you Serene, for chatting to me, for giving me good news... =)

Thank you Eileen, for sharing my joy with the parcel, for being a friend in this lonely land, and for letting me use your printer to print my graphic design homework.

Thank you Cassie, for buying me lunch today.

and... Thank you God, for all these wonderful people that You provided for me. Your little messages of love... I know I am loved, and that makes the most tiring day more than bearable!

God giveth and He taketh away, blessed be the name of
the Lord.

Something Becky brought up made me wanna scribble for a bit.

People make their entrances in my life. I have so much to thank for those entrances... friends here at tulsa... I guess I could name them of on my fingers... close ones at least. He brought Eileen, Yiling, Elaine, Jennifer, Chris and Mason, Amanda, Johanna, Julie, Nancy and Adam. That's probably the people who are close to me here.. and when I say close... it's relative. Like... they know my name, where I come from, what I study =) and then they generally know how i'm doing. But really deep stuff.... like understanding me... i haven't found one yet.

And people make their exit. And I am left feeling slightly abandoned, slightly destitute because that little part of me... where our lives have fused and intertwined will not grow anymore. It's not lost, but it wont grow either. And i love them... and so that makes me sad.

And I made my exit. Leaving Singapore didn't mean I lost my best friends, but it meant that keeping in touch was harder. I don't love them any less, and I don't think they love me any less... but its just so much harder to show and receive the love we have.

But God giveth and He taketh away... and I can't control what He decides to give or take away, I can only be ready to receive and ready to release.

something radical

think about this. Be pure... not just for God, yourself, your future spouse... but also for others. It may seem harmless to like someone else and express it through flirting, paying them more attention, writing notes and expressing it. But if you do that... and you begin to lead someone on when you are not ready to be comitted, you are destroying the purity of that person.

Is that important? Well, when I finally get attached, in the distant future, I think I would want to know that my boyfriend has been pure. If he has had other girlfriends, and done other things... I would understand... but I wouldn't be delighted with it. More than that, I would not really be very well-disposed to the girls he was with because they both played around. Make sense? So I can't do anything about the people who I dont know yet in my future, but I can do something now.

I can love my guy friends in a good way. Even if I like them. I can love them enough to help them protect their purity for their future wife, since I'm not that girl. Hopefully, some girl out there will make the same loving choice and my future husband will have benifitted because of that. Guys... same thing. You can love the girls around you and help them to stay pure.

Is this random? I dunno.... Julie brought it up the other night, and I just felt it was important to share... I want to be selfless and love others....

praise God!

I have alot to be happy for and praise God for today...
- I got through today alive... and I am going to sleep soon!
- I had so much fun at my practicum. The kids were awesome. sigh... I really love them already!
- I am almost done with my graphic design homework
- I got to eat apple and pineapple. I love apple and pineapple too!
- I really enjoyed praying with my chaplain and RA
- I got a little bit of work done.
- I had chapel today =)

So.. despite the sleepyness, the supervisor who didn't turn up, the late prayer meeting, the freezing cold weather, the friend whose phone was off and the report that was not written... =) I think God is awesome! I can still sleep with praise on my lips. (Psalms says the saints praise him in their beds... I never figured if it meant the dead saints in the gravebeds... or live saints.... but =) I'll praise Him anywhere!)

So God is good. =) and I'm good. For those who are reading this and really concerned about me and my busy life... i love you! Thank you so much for that love.

today...

today... the most exciting thing that happened was...

I talked to my mummy =) That was exciting... of course the content of the phone conversation was not as important as the fact that she was on the other end of the line! Hooray for mums. It has almost been decided though... i think i'm staying in tulsa for Christmas. =) Somebody say hi to me.... and somebody tell me that it'd be alright far away from home...

But it's been a good day. For those people that I got to talk to.... over the phone (jie, dad, mum), over the net (serene, daniel, ben, now isabel...), for people here (yiling, eileen, johanna, amanda and megan) and for people that i thought of but never got to talk to (brother, becks, hozea, kel... and more) I love you all. God has been so good to let me know you, and hearing from you guys has just brought joy to my heart.

so... it's past midnight, and i must stay with my attempt to not sleep too late and get enough rest.... especially cos tomorrow is a long day for me.. 7:30am- 11pm... I have something on... and so.. I'll be up by 6am and dunno when I'll get to bed! Goodnight all!

happy birthday... SERENE!

Well, it's Serene's birthday today =) and so this is a little place in my blog for her.

I thank God for Serene... I still find it amazing how we got to know each other, then drifted apart... and almost 2 years later, God brought us back together again. She's someone that really isn't like me at all, and yet is like me in alot of ways. I think the most important thing... that she and I both want to be godly women. God's love for us, and our love for Him has binded us together.

So... Serene! I just want to say that although we don't get to talk, chat or even write... you are in my prayers. I think that being 21 means more than just the normal laws and stuff... I think it's incredible because its 21 full years of a special and unique life... once lost and now found... and as God would have it, your life daily brings beauty from ashes. You have a wonderful personality... =) smart, sophisticated, independant... and still caring, loving and fun... I appreciate how you see life and how you chase after it. I can't do what you can with words... =) but my sister-in-christ... I appreciate how precious you are... and I just want you to know that.


serene and I

and.... have a blessed birthday!

my love affair.... with earrings

ok... so for those who haven't figured out yet... i'm a big earring fanatic... and while other girls have their purses/handbags, shoes, makeup and a variety of others... I too have my little collection of earrings! haha.. I like them so much!


my earrings!!!

So anyway, this is the bandana with earrings that is now hanging on my wall cos I finally decided that I need to be a little more organised, especially since earrings are so tiny. =)

haha... lets make this a little more interactive... COMMENT me.. or tag me... tell me which is your favorite! =)

more pics...

I know i've been putting up lots of photos.... but well... enjoy it cos when I start writing again, you'll probably get bored!

So... Friday Night... this is what happened... =) sweet story girls... so read and relish!

Amanda's boyfriend Richard flies down to suprise her with a visit (He works in Georgia, we are in Tulsa). As you can see, she is completely shocked. She had no idea... not for the 2 weeks he has been planning with Johanna (good friend, tall girl in black dress on the lower right pic). It was meant to be a girls night out, dress up, make-up, desserts at a restaurant. What she never realised is that he was recreating how they met. See, they had known each other for 4 months before they met face to face... on that day, he got someone to pass her an envelope full of pictures they had sent each other while she was out with her girlfriends. He then turns up with a big bouquet. So this friday night, we head out to TGIF (same restaurant) and he sends an envelope with "2 years later... and still in love with you" written on it with a bunch of their nicest photos. She can't believe her eyes.... and looks frantically around... and there he is!!! with a bouquet... Well.. the best part was the week before, she was telling Jennifer (girl on top right corner) that if she could have anything she wanted, she would want Richard to suprise her with something special....

amanda's suprise

ok... and Eileen's not on my wing, so she didn't come... but we still took a nice pic...

eileen and I

and after all that... eileen and I went to hang out with Kevin who obliged us by playing guitar (my baby taylor by the way...)

kevin