finally....

pictures of DC!

You Cover Me

Your grace is like blanket
keep me warm

You watch my back
push me out of danger

You lid me tight
I don't grow stale and jaded

You place a veil
I remain pure, a mystery

You write a prose
I am my story

You shelter me
I am safe and secure

I was going to write a blog to rant about my 4am day, rather, I am struck by God's covering on my life.

BACK!

i'm home. now tired and stressed and lots of work to do.

BUT. i had a great time. loved the capital. =)

off to Washington DC!

yup, i'm taking a week off classes (administratively excused!) to go to the capital of USA to attend the David Barton Leadership Conference. It's actually a conference for government and history majors, but I can take this trip for HUM 350 and then substitute it for HUM 111 or 112. Works out good for me, even though i am slightly concerned about missing all my classes, especially since i will have 2 tests that I have to take the following monday, and then 2 major major papers in the next week, not to mention a plethora of other activities.

it'd be fun though. i'll take lotsa pics and post them when i'm back. =)

Father Healer

i have alot on my heart tonight... so bear with me as I tell my tale. Believe me, share with me... be encouraged.. that God is GOD!!! and I are mere man.

On Monday night, at leader's prayer meeting (for the wing), Amanda (Chaplain) shared that she was going to share with the girls about first being a child of God, before anything else. God laid upon my heart to share the song "Precious Child" by Vineyard, a song that I have kept in my heart since Australia. I however, anticipated being stressed and having a math test and homework due, as well as papers... and I refused to act. I never told Amanda or anything. About 20 minutes before devos, the burden grew stronger. I hadn't been able to do much math and I was stressed out. But somethind in me cried out to be obedient. So I went and told Amanda. God was there, because Mandy who was originally playing pulled out at the last minute due to studies, and Amanda was about to ask me. So first *whoa*.

But I was not there just for the song. Throughout the devos, Johanna had complained of this pain in her neck that was getting to her back. She was struggling to sit properly the entire devos, and I sensed her discomfort. I was so anxious to pray for her. Well, Amanda, Charlene, Tamika and I laid hands on her and just prayed. I remember what I prayed... and I remember what Amanda was saying.... and I remember kneeling behind Johanna, my hand on her back calling "Jesus". After she got up, she started to yell becuase the intense pain had gone. It's not completely healed, we are still praying. That sounded to me like one of those healing rally stories my school excels in, on TV, in magazines, books... not in Amanda's room. But I knew?... while i was praying, i felt her healed. It was just that. a deep sense within.

What am I saying? God is loving and He is powerful. Not only to love us as children, but to love us enough to push us when we don't do whats right, heal us when we hurt, teach us to trust Him and let us know that He is around.

I'm full of fear for God. I dont think I understood that till now. Inside me, there's a deep trembling. Thank you God for giving me as many pushed as I needed to make me be there, thank you God that we could pray for Johanna, thank You God that You moved mightily. I'm alive, and God's alive. and He lives in me today!

God is so awesome. I know. Whoa!!!

now i shall rest in his presence as I sleep for a couple of hours before hitting the pythagorean triples and all. God... who heals, who calls... =) thankfully can impart wisdom and intelligence too!

新年快乐

whoa. spend the wee hours of the morning calling up my relatives in KL and singapore., in between, i woke up my poor darling jie to go and call the fam too!

sigh. i'm not say upset about calling them. i have a test today... so i am up studying... and i'm eating and drinking coffee to stay awake... but the compounded lack of sleep is getting to me.

anyway... off topic already. just wanted to say that i wish i could be in SOME home for CNY, Singapore or KL... just with some people that love me, that i love... and enjoy family for once. Those who are with family, relish it. You never know when you may come to appreciate those cheek-pinching aunties, or uncles who ask the oh-so-important question (are you attached? where's you girlfriend?) (haha.. that was especially for Kel...) and the noisy cousins.. some which you get along with, and others that you don't/

be grateful.. haha. really!!!

he's coming back... ready?

for the last two weeks, i've been attending service at VCC, next to my school. Pastor Billy Joe has been talking about the end times... I wonder how many of us out there have been thinking about the very same thing.

Jesus is coming soon. It will always be like that, till the day He comes. Time to him, is not fixed like ours. Instead of trying to predict when He's coming, we should be ready to go now. I should... but am I?

I know i'm where i'm supposed to be. God will find me here, he will recognise me. am I worthy to be raptured? that's tough. I hope so. I hope i've obeyed him enough, kept pursuing Him and righteousness... and deserve that, and the crown and the throne room! but will i have regrets? YES. plenty. things that i wish i had said or done, and people i wish i could have said or done more for.

God, forgive me. For not being selfless enough.

I guess i wont know when He's coming, i know i don't. All i can do now is work out my salvation with fear and trembling. Be prepared to be judged. Know that i did everything out of a love for Him, and a desire to obey Him. Be ready to face Him, to thank him for all the sins that He will not hold against me, and be ready to receive a judgement call. I want to be a sheep, not a goat.

there's mroe to be done. way more. but i can start here. by sharing and praying... and being where God wants me to be till He moves me to someplace else.

I still have hopes and dreams. plenty. But that's ok. God didn't ask us to not to hope for the future, just not to put off what is better done today, for tomorrow.

flipping over

i'm handing in the reins
bouncing the ball in your court
letting you take the lead
washing my hands clean
passing the buck over
giving you the keys

release

i've been swamped by Godly principles. good thing too. only that i have too many thoughts to concisely put it for everyone. I just want to say... (this just happens to be the last thought of my day)

i always want to be wanted, to be chased, to be needed, to be pursued. you didn't do that for me. but he's been after me for so long.

i always hope you appreciate me, enjoy me, be pleased with me. you don't give me the kind of approval i'm always looking for. but i am his delight!

i always want to be respected, treated well, loved and cared for. you always say you tried. but he's given it to me time and time again.

and thats the difference between me, you and him. Good thing is that i'm just as flawed as you are.... and he's just the exact opposite.

a human fails a human's expectations, a human does not attain a human's hopes. Only he can.

i wonder why when i can sit back and think about how demanding i am, how he can still love me. see the goodness in me. where is my goodness? my goodness resides in him... and he resides in me. isn't that awesome? that when he sees me, he sees me... but he sees himself too.

*ok... see what i mean by i'm thinking too much... good for me though. to meditate on his law and word day and night*

uplift me Father, i surrender
i cant hold on, i cant keep repeating my troubles
deliver me somehow
give me music, give me my new song
i want to sing again
God, You have never failed me
in You alone, i will find strength
life, full of hope, joy, peace and
love.
Father God, save me.

I'm saying a prayer. i had a long qt this morning, which is good... making up for my 10 mins ones wehre i'm super sleepy and all. I guess the key is not to do my qt when i'm sleepy. sometimes i feel like i have no choice... but i do. I can choose to wake up.

my important choice for today is:
I choose to trust Him. I need Him to rescue me from who i am. cos sometimes, i feel like i'm digging my own grave. like when i've slept 4 hours, have a quiz, 2 meetings tonight, and want to jog, study, play and breathe. and stop eating. But i trust, that somehow, God will get through my thick-headed skull... and work things out for me.

pretty winter

a wintry morn

same morning as below. took this with eileen's camera on our way out to the cafeteria. nice right? would have gotten a really nice shot of myself in the chair looking and contemplating, but it was weat and had snow. so that was a no-go.
Yes, it only snowed once here.... and I'm grateful. though it snowed, and the weather was warm and it melted. and then it melted, and the weather is COLD again.