happy birthday to geri

I missed geri's birthday.

Lots of friends hit the 21 before me, and they all celebrate it in different ways. I got a chance to be with lisha and the girls on her birthday, but missed kel's... and qiu's... and well... will miss val's... but probably not chu hua's!

But anyway.. Who is geri? who are all these people?

I have to admit that I was never that close to my cedar friends. I envy those people who had the time of their lives in secondary school... to say the least, I barely hung out with my friends... i just studied in class with them. Yet this bunch of 7 girls (Alicia, Geraldine, Chu Hua, Qiuling, Junwan, Kelly and I (kinda)) have managed to find a way to stay in touch, to stay connected.

So anyway, today's birthday girl is the beautiful Geri. (that's the only picture I have of her! but i think she still looks cute!) Geri is special because she's got a serious yet super fun-loving streak inside her. I think she reminds me of a pixieish nymph... whimsical, loves to dream... lithe and passionate. But not frail... nope. Geri is really strong on the inside, and that drive and that resilience helps her to stand tall when the odds are against her. She really loves photography too.. =) Well, as a tribute to my friend, I can only say that she's really precious to me!

Anyway. There will be one year that i'll be able to make it for all our birthdays.
I want to say a little about my Cedar friends while i'm at it.
I love my Cedar girls... we make a heck of alot of noise... and while at times, i may feel very left out, being the only like... "foreign" one around... they make room in their lives and their hearts for me! The one thing about being with them that i can't find anywhere else? The boy-screen. Haha... We drag each other boyfriends to hang out with us for a chance to get to know them. I love that because no matter what, they'll be honest... but supportive... and best of all, it's a way of saying, "I accept you as my friend still, even if your priorities and life has changed". Now surely... how many friends would be willing to do that?

its been a slow weekend that has passed by all too fast.

and well, i feel like i got alot of things, and just nothing done. Homework done? well.. some..

But really, the pinnacle, the peak... best thing that happened this week was an online chat on saturday evening, your early early sunday morning with a special best friend of mine.

It's wondrously strange to feel like that. To feel like it's been too long since we've connected, and yet that if we were totally in touch, then we would not be where we are now.

It's better yet to know that despite it all, we had a very Christ-centred talk. I miss that.

In the end, God is good. so good. When we are good, when we are not. But the thing is, we are going to try to be good... right? =)

I wish i were back home. Not just for him, not just for her... but for me! Again, i miss the chats with cherie (darling girl sent me an email! =) ) and sundays with church and dtc... and the fellowship. argh! Miss you all... really!

yay!

tell me you're proud of me! I did my first 3 mile run since er... my summer... that was like may? so its been a while...

I know tomorrow i will ache, and all. but YES! I overcame. I'm happy.

I want to say that God is faithful.

Was reading revelations 2 for my QT this morning and i mean... it only struck me how hard it must be to be judged before God, and be perfect. But what I took from it was that though God cannot tolerate our sins and our failings... He doesn't condemn us, but rather gives us warning to repent! I mean... He could smush us and our evil ways right now, but He loves us so much that He'll work with us.

I think that thought came as I've struggled through this weekend. It's not been too good, and i basically feel like i wasted the weekend, but i am lethargic and "out of it". But God is still faithful to me... I got a 102 on a test I took today that I thought i bummed out on. To alot of people, a test score is no big deal, but to me... feeling unmotivated, braindead, tired out, sleepy, lonely and frustrated... those little numbers were a huge mega huge reminder that God is faithful, even when i'm not.

I may keep falling, failing and flailing... but so long as I keep on picking myself up... keep repenting, keep on loving... I'll be good. =)

french everywhere

I have a french test tomorrow... and like many chinese tests you guys have... my french is all over the place. I am TRYING to think french.

I mean?
What is this??

sigh. I have a couple more hours to memorise 4 pages of answers that will help me ace my test. I also have other things to do... sigh!!!

" Pathelin, l'avocat desargente et sans scruples se procure a credit une grande quantite de drap le marchand Guilaume Joceaulme. "

which is the first part of my answer to "Recontez un petit de l'histoire de <<>>. Some french classic! It is a funny story... weird but funny.

and btw, =) i'm coming home in december.

slightly off... if you know what I mean?

This has been a weird day.

I had a bad night, to get up (note i did not say wake up) and find that things are dark and dreary for Hozea back home.

Then work was a chore and a bore.. photocopying some more (yes, it rhymes)... and well, the boss was kinda weird again... kept teasing me...

Finally decided that i will come home, only to find that my air ticket that i found last night is no longer available... sigh.

And then to top it off, Eileen and I finally called this guy whom we heard to be a Singaporean and left msg on his phone... but then when i called back again, he claimed he was not that guy. So weird. I guess he thought he has stalkers or something!

sigh!!!

anyway, back to ma revision de francais et les devoirs necessaires! bleah.

the plague of indecision

oh would it be that I were omnicient
or least a tad worldly-wise
but being neither
I forever tether
on edge of "yay"
or perhaps... "nay?"
or yet again, "may... be."

Sigh. it's a plague... honestly! To think that people will tell me that i'm smart and some even say "brilliant".. whatever... and i cant even make simple decisions...

What am i whining about now? (heh.. that's a question becky would ask)

To go or no to go??
sigh...
- to go boston or not during fall break
- to go home or to SF during Christmas break
- to think about going Europe or not during spring break (jireh?? comments?)

whatever. this is severly frustrating. If only time, money, temperature, emotions, relationships, people, studies, jobs, responsibilities, and all the rest were not issues... heh. but then, if they weren't issues than life would not be life... it'd be a shelled existence.

anyway, to put aside the whining, and see the dilemma for what it is.. it's a blessing. God gave us choice. We always use that in regard to choosing Him or not. But He created us and reason and logic so that we can understand that when we choose something there are consequences, and then apply that to choosing Him, knowing that there must be consequences, even if we are not so familiar with what they might be now. Faith may be a leap, but it's a leap off a line of reason and logic.

argh. going off on tangents!!! back to the subject, what will I choose? sigh.
I still don't know!

long weekend is over..

what have I accomplished?

- talked to my boyrfriend for long times... about what? 2 hours on fri night, sat morn and sat night? that's 6 hours at least??? and that's going to have to be enough for somewhile, seeing as he has duty on saturday this week.

- ate, and got fatter. =) heh..

- watched a bunch of movies. On saturday, i watched 3 in a row!!! and well, then one yesterday and one today.

- done hw for tuesday (but no more than that...)

- cleaned up the house for Teri, who happens to now be staying with us in the house. She's an older lady going to study at Rhema Bible College... and she's sleeping on couch seat cushions.. on the floor! i'm amazed... but yesh.

Before I start on trying to do hw due on thursday, I want to say that I miss you all back home... =)