well, i'm back... and so they are up.
to save time, and effort... I uploaded all my pics on one album... so I mean... I guess it'd ok for you guys to see pictures of me with people you don't know... i didn't get shutter happy this time... so they are normal posed-for pics... not the spontaneous random ones that sometimes happen
go here if you want to see who I spent my time with this dec.
Oh... pictures with my family, from the photo shoot are pending. they're in the mac, and i'm using the dell and too tired to transfer images right now.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
i miss you all. and hey.
I know things aren't always as perfect as we want them to be. we're all broken people... we've been hurt and have hurt others. letting God heal isn't easy, but it's better than letting it fester...
We're also all unsatisfied souls... we always want more and give less. chasing our own passions isn't easy, but chasing God's passions is even harder.
I know things aren't always as perfect as we want them to be. we're all broken people... we've been hurt and have hurt others. letting God heal isn't easy, but it's better than letting it fester...
We're also all unsatisfied souls... we always want more and give less. chasing our own passions isn't easy, but chasing God's passions is even harder.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
back
sigh... i'm back in tulsa.
yes. i have jet lag, and i am giddy and tired... hungry and have no appetite, lonely and still trying to catch up with everyone here. my room is a mess, my brain is a mess... and yes, i miss home. I miss you people... and yes, i miss you, hozea. (has anyone seen his blog??? got pictures... if you wanted to see.. then see his page lah!)
BECKY!!! i tell you something sad, don't cry though. We forgot to take a picture AGAIN!!! so this effectively means that the last pic we took together was the airport one... STILL!! that is so sad lor. I guess you don't really think of taking photos when you're out rushing around, helping me buy stuff for home. Thanks Becks. I don't think anyone else would love me that much to follow me around doing stuff. haha. we don't have the money to hang out that much anyway.
okie.. to chapel once more. I think i really miss that though.. so that's a good thing!
yes. i have jet lag, and i am giddy and tired... hungry and have no appetite, lonely and still trying to catch up with everyone here. my room is a mess, my brain is a mess... and yes, i miss home. I miss you people... and yes, i miss you, hozea. (has anyone seen his blog??? got pictures... if you wanted to see.. then see his page lah!)
BECKY!!! i tell you something sad, don't cry though. We forgot to take a picture AGAIN!!! so this effectively means that the last pic we took together was the airport one... STILL!! that is so sad lor. I guess you don't really think of taking photos when you're out rushing around, helping me buy stuff for home. Thanks Becks. I don't think anyone else would love me that much to follow me around doing stuff. haha. we don't have the money to hang out that much anyway.
okie.. to chapel once more. I think i really miss that though.. so that's a good thing!
Monday, January 03, 2005
bye bye
argh. times flies. that's a cliche... but it does, expecially when you're home. I'm leaving for school, tulsa that 24 hour horrendous flight... it's always worse going back to tulsa, cos you aren't looking forward to anything. though i do sorely miss the chow family and eileen...
argh. another one for how my luggage can be so heavy when I can't remember buying much. Please don't remind me that one entire luggage is made up enitrely of food. I don't wish to remember that I bought that much food, for what? for comfort? why will I need comort? cos i wont be home... *and the whining continues, but i will spare dear readers of my head noise*.
argh. I haven't written all the letters I wanted to, met up with all the people I want to, spent enough time with the people that I did get to meet up with, find that social service agency that I wanted, or even eat all the things that I wanted to. There's never enough time to do all you want. Least I did see my family for a week...
okiedokie dearies. I love you all. pics will be up when I get home and perhaps on the first weekend when I'm more settled. earlier is I decide i miss you all too much. =)
*hugs*
Thanks to all btw, that I did get to see and talk to, even for the shortest. Cheryl? how did the appeal go? Hozzy? did you manage to get more work? Tell me about gab's hair kay? Hazel, I plan to call you, but how is shatec going? are leeyin's shirts nice? becky.. haha.. hope the bidding thing goes well lah. i'll talk to you more some day. cherie... eh. if i'm not going to sleep tonight, then can I read the letter now? after all.. BEFORE I go to bed can be anytime BEFORE more.. never say immediately before!, Abby.. i have letter for you, Jane too!!! er. see if I can get someone to pass to you babes ok? There's more that I have in my head, but now I have to go and shower, and then finish packing so i can head down to meet ivin and joyce and kel for dinner at their new apartment! yay. =)
argh. another one for how my luggage can be so heavy when I can't remember buying much. Please don't remind me that one entire luggage is made up enitrely of food. I don't wish to remember that I bought that much food, for what? for comfort? why will I need comort? cos i wont be home... *and the whining continues, but i will spare dear readers of my head noise*.
argh. I haven't written all the letters I wanted to, met up with all the people I want to, spent enough time with the people that I did get to meet up with, find that social service agency that I wanted, or even eat all the things that I wanted to. There's never enough time to do all you want. Least I did see my family for a week...
okiedokie dearies. I love you all. pics will be up when I get home and perhaps on the first weekend when I'm more settled. earlier is I decide i miss you all too much. =)
*hugs*
Thanks to all btw, that I did get to see and talk to, even for the shortest. Cheryl? how did the appeal go? Hozzy? did you manage to get more work? Tell me about gab's hair kay? Hazel, I plan to call you, but how is shatec going? are leeyin's shirts nice? becky.. haha.. hope the bidding thing goes well lah. i'll talk to you more some day. cherie... eh. if i'm not going to sleep tonight, then can I read the letter now? after all.. BEFORE I go to bed can be anytime BEFORE more.. never say immediately before!, Abby.. i have letter for you, Jane too!!! er. see if I can get someone to pass to you babes ok? There's more that I have in my head, but now I have to go and shower, and then finish packing so i can head down to meet ivin and joyce and kel for dinner at their new apartment! yay. =)
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
distilling God's grace
Distilling.
It's the end of the year again. Previous year-ends have meant so much in terms of sharing and rebuilding and redirecting. Lately, the year-end is merely another day less to going home, another day to rush around doing all that needs to be done.
What really needs to be done is to spend time with God. I feel like the bustle of having my sis and family around really stopped me from doing my qt. It was good to do family devotions, and pray with my sis... but I miss my alone time with God. I kinda think He must have know that too because today, Jah fell sick and cant meet me... thus giving me the whole morning to effectively spend my time with God and myself.
Looking back at 2004, I must say that this year has been full of God's grace. I've been through alot. Maybe not fire, and fury or brimstone or death... but tough studies, emotionally trying times, spiritual highs and lows and a lot of loneliness. I've learnt more than I imagined... about God, myself, my parents, my sis, my friends....
In this year of grace, I've kept my 4.0 (important for scholarships), I've completed enough courses fitting 4.5 years of study into 3, I've dropped my graphic design major for an art minor, I've been to church camp, I've been up Mount Kinabalu, I've changed church in Tulsa, met new American Chinese friends, had Eileen come, became a leader on my wing, done a little bit of field experience, healed friendships, joined msn, started this blog, left my teenage years behind, got attached....
Ha. God has been really good though. I feel myself slowly becoming used to the idea that He really is full of grace and compassion, and that He's really accesssible. I have talked to God alot, but it's just that, I think this year... my conversation with God has been more integrated with my own life. I think more often than not, I sit and try to hear God for other people... which is good... but being able to hear Him even when I'm not in deep intercession... that something that I really think has surfaced more and more this year.
Well... So I guess i'm going to spend the rest of todasy waiting with open arms to hear from God about last year and the next year. For me, for us, for my family and friends... I guess I want to encourage you guys to take that little time off to think about what your year has been. Not in the "i need to share in 5 minutes" sense, but in well... just peace and surrender... knowing that the bad things that have happened will be redeemed, and the good things that have happened requires us to show our gratitude. Think about God, and our walk.. and distill all those memories... into a sense of knowing that somewhere, this year fits into a bigger purpose for our entire lives.
It's the end of the year again. Previous year-ends have meant so much in terms of sharing and rebuilding and redirecting. Lately, the year-end is merely another day less to going home, another day to rush around doing all that needs to be done.
What really needs to be done is to spend time with God. I feel like the bustle of having my sis and family around really stopped me from doing my qt. It was good to do family devotions, and pray with my sis... but I miss my alone time with God. I kinda think He must have know that too because today, Jah fell sick and cant meet me... thus giving me the whole morning to effectively spend my time with God and myself.
Looking back at 2004, I must say that this year has been full of God's grace. I've been through alot. Maybe not fire, and fury or brimstone or death... but tough studies, emotionally trying times, spiritual highs and lows and a lot of loneliness. I've learnt more than I imagined... about God, myself, my parents, my sis, my friends....
In this year of grace, I've kept my 4.0 (important for scholarships), I've completed enough courses fitting 4.5 years of study into 3, I've dropped my graphic design major for an art minor, I've been to church camp, I've been up Mount Kinabalu, I've changed church in Tulsa, met new American Chinese friends, had Eileen come, became a leader on my wing, done a little bit of field experience, healed friendships, joined msn, started this blog, left my teenage years behind, got attached....
Ha. God has been really good though. I feel myself slowly becoming used to the idea that He really is full of grace and compassion, and that He's really accesssible. I have talked to God alot, but it's just that, I think this year... my conversation with God has been more integrated with my own life. I think more often than not, I sit and try to hear God for other people... which is good... but being able to hear Him even when I'm not in deep intercession... that something that I really think has surfaced more and more this year.
Well... So I guess i'm going to spend the rest of todasy waiting with open arms to hear from God about last year and the next year. For me, for us, for my family and friends... I guess I want to encourage you guys to take that little time off to think about what your year has been. Not in the "i need to share in 5 minutes" sense, but in well... just peace and surrender... knowing that the bad things that have happened will be redeemed, and the good things that have happened requires us to show our gratitude. Think about God, and our walk.. and distill all those memories... into a sense of knowing that somewhere, this year fits into a bigger purpose for our entire lives.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
quickie
hey. I haven't posted for ages and ages. that's cos i've been happily sitting here in singapore....
ok.. not sitting. rather, rushing around madly meeting up with my beloved people and all that good stuff.
I've got just a couple of minutes before i go and start doing more important stuff to just random jot down interesting and good things
I love my family even though it really isn't easy spending time with thme sometimes.
I love someone else. haha =) a lot of people actually.
Becky my darlingest best friend is back. she misses thailand. but i'm glad she's home. singapore feels more complete with her around
Hozea... poor boy is tired and has to be in camp ALL day. thast makes me sad cos i don't get to see him! sigh.
Hazel... she's ok... just bored I guess.
My family went back to sabah yesterday
my house is clean, my clothes are washed and the area is packed. nice.
I am sniffing
I want to do something meaningful. I haven't sat and been nice and good for a long time.... just been rushing. which is fine.... but i need some down time.... meaningful down time.
WHERE IS SERENE?
haha. and of course. ARGH for the senior practicum that is not working out..
love you all. later!!! (when i get back to US ie. 5 jan)
ok.. not sitting. rather, rushing around madly meeting up with my beloved people and all that good stuff.
I've got just a couple of minutes before i go and start doing more important stuff to just random jot down interesting and good things
I love my family even though it really isn't easy spending time with thme sometimes.
I love someone else. haha =) a lot of people actually.
Becky my darlingest best friend is back. she misses thailand. but i'm glad she's home. singapore feels more complete with her around
Hozea... poor boy is tired and has to be in camp ALL day. thast makes me sad cos i don't get to see him! sigh.
Hazel... she's ok... just bored I guess.
My family went back to sabah yesterday
my house is clean, my clothes are washed and the area is packed. nice.
I am sniffing
I want to do something meaningful. I haven't sat and been nice and good for a long time.... just been rushing. which is fine.... but i need some down time.... meaningful down time.
WHERE IS SERENE?
haha. and of course. ARGH for the senior practicum that is not working out..
love you all. later!!! (when i get back to US ie. 5 jan)
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Come join me!
Dear friend, you are invited to join En'ai/ Jeanette (whatever your preference may be) on the 10th December.
hey people, this is an "official" invitation to come join me on my birthday! I don't know what I'll be doing...hahah but we'll be having some kind of meal somewhere at sometime. I know.. you need details... so do i! but unfortunately... i don't have them. SORRY! I kindly refer you to Kel. Ask Kel whats happening.
It's not a birthday party or something like that... please don't feel obliged to bring a gift... I just would love to see you. and that ... would be present enough. So please come! come empty handed, but full of love... and that will be more than sufficient to make me feel special.
=) 3 days. haha... the phrase "so close, yet so far" is truly apt for this moment.
well... i've got 4 major exams within that time, and a take home paper to complete... packing and cleaning and saying goodbye and "Merry Christmas" to my friends here, and then i'll be ready to leave.... home!!! HOME!
yeah. back to work on that paper!
hey people, this is an "official" invitation to come join me on my birthday! I don't know what I'll be doing...hahah but we'll be having some kind of meal somewhere at sometime. I know.. you need details... so do i! but unfortunately... i don't have them. SORRY! I kindly refer you to Kel. Ask Kel whats happening.
It's not a birthday party or something like that... please don't feel obliged to bring a gift... I just would love to see you. and that ... would be present enough. So please come! come empty handed, but full of love... and that will be more than sufficient to make me feel special.
=) 3 days. haha... the phrase "so close, yet so far" is truly apt for this moment.
well... i've got 4 major exams within that time, and a take home paper to complete... packing and cleaning and saying goodbye and "Merry Christmas" to my friends here, and then i'll be ready to leave.... home!!! HOME!
yeah. back to work on that paper!
Monday, November 29, 2004
home ;o)
i'm a little lightheaded right now... blame in on the fact that my wonderful professor cancelled his classes for the rest of his week, or on the fact that it's FREEZING cold and wet outside, or on the fact that i have a pile of things to get done, or the lack of sleep...
whatever it is... I'm in a mood to be jumpy and hyper. It's down to single digits people.. I'm finally getting to go home. Gosh. I know you guys are probably happy for me... but just try to imagine how excited I am. I think God is SO GOOD. argh!
I'm coming home !!!!*accompanying jig around the room*
I still have classes, then 2 papers on Mon (6th dec) and another 2 on Tue (7th dec)... and then flying off on 8th (dec) at 6am... to arrive home on 10th dec (0000hrs) =) YAY!
lalalaa... important things to get done before i go home: pay next sem's school fees, hang in portfolio and illustrator projects, review for 5 finals, wrap up practicum, prepare gift for my girls, hold 2 parties for my kids and my girls... and get a place to do my senior practicum in summer.
ooh. I am just so excited.... 9 days to home...
I'm sorry, excuse the ranting. I just wanted to say hi. I don't blog often and I haven't heard from you guys (if you are reading my blog...) in ages... so tag me... say hi! leave me a couple of words of encouragement that I can make it through all this... and I will see ya SOON at home!
whatever it is... I'm in a mood to be jumpy and hyper. It's down to single digits people.. I'm finally getting to go home. Gosh. I know you guys are probably happy for me... but just try to imagine how excited I am. I think God is SO GOOD. argh!
I'm coming home !!!!*accompanying jig around the room*
I still have classes, then 2 papers on Mon (6th dec) and another 2 on Tue (7th dec)... and then flying off on 8th (dec) at 6am... to arrive home on 10th dec (0000hrs) =) YAY!
lalalaa... important things to get done before i go home: pay next sem's school fees, hang in portfolio and illustrator projects, review for 5 finals, wrap up practicum, prepare gift for my girls, hold 2 parties for my kids and my girls... and get a place to do my senior practicum in summer.
ooh. I am just so excited.... 9 days to home...
I'm sorry, excuse the ranting. I just wanted to say hi. I don't blog often and I haven't heard from you guys (if you are reading my blog...) in ages... so tag me... say hi! leave me a couple of words of encouragement that I can make it through all this... and I will see ya SOON at home!
Thursday, November 25, 2004
THANKSGIVING
Americans celebrate Thanksgiving in a pretty big way... I think the thing I like most about it, is the fact the family gets together and has fun... the food is not as big as everyone makes it to be, it's the company, and the memories...
I wish I had family here, so that at least somehow Thanksgiving would be important to me. But I am going over to Chris and Jenn's house, and will get a chance to be with family... someone else's family...
I am thankful to God for
Him! He has been so so good to me, even though I can be so awful. It just blows me away.
family, that least I do have, just that they are nowhere near me
an elder sister who is just... well. She's MY older sister, but i'm sorry you can't all have her.
friends that support and love me, and encourage me in way they cannot imagine
Chris and Jenn and Mason and baby Abigail, and Mr and Mrs Chow who have been so nice and generous to me here in Tulsa
a best friend who I know misses me, even though it's been a while
a break to do my piles of work, and to rest a little
a chance to go home in less than a fortnight
a special someone who loves me, and well, is just wonderful..
and a lot of other things that I can't begin to describe
I wish I had family here, so that at least somehow Thanksgiving would be important to me. But I am going over to Chris and Jenn's house, and will get a chance to be with family... someone else's family...
I am thankful to God for
Him! He has been so so good to me, even though I can be so awful. It just blows me away.
family, that least I do have, just that they are nowhere near me
an elder sister who is just... well. She's MY older sister, but i'm sorry you can't all have her.
friends that support and love me, and encourage me in way they cannot imagine
Chris and Jenn and Mason and baby Abigail, and Mr and Mrs Chow who have been so nice and generous to me here in Tulsa
a best friend who I know misses me, even though it's been a while
a break to do my piles of work, and to rest a little
a chance to go home in less than a fortnight
a special someone who loves me, and well, is just wonderful..
and a lot of other things that I can't begin to describe
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Finally!
it's finally thanksgiving. Praise God that i've made it this far. This has been one incredible incredible semester so far... just having to rely so much on Him... =) but i'm really excited about my 5 days... I get to sit down and complete all these assignments, and study for my finals, and finish up these 8 classes (well, one HPE class down.. =P) strong!
you dont want me to list out all i have to do within the next 5 days. but you do wanna hear this.
I'm happy. I really feel like coming home. I miss you guys, and spent time praying for camp and people back home just now.
you dont want me to list out all i have to do within the next 5 days. but you do wanna hear this.
I'm happy. I really feel like coming home. I miss you guys, and spent time praying for camp and people back home just now.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
coming home!
i realised that I was miscounting. so that's why I skipped from 19 days left to 17 days. Cos you don't count the day that you leave =) yay! 17. that's incredible.... that's exciting, exhilarating... and kinda scary. I shant bore you with all the things i have to do. Most of you are having fun at camp, and by the time you read it'd be less than 2 weeks.
by the way, for all of you who don't know yet. I'll be back at 0000hrs on the 10th december 2004, and then leaving early morning on 4th january 2005. My parents will be back from the 22-28 dec, and so during that time, i wont be seeing you guys (not even for christmas I think... depends). but other than that.... please come hang out with me. I miss you all so so so much.
if you guys didn't know, the 10th dec is also my 20th birthday. =) so... if you are free on that day, it would be wonderful if we could all go for lunch together... i know at night got leader's meeting... so. BUT yeah. my brother will be in singapore too. I dunno.. find some place to just hang out and all. anyone interested?
yeah... and no need to come and pick me up at the airport lah. I guess i'll be so tired that I'll want to go to bed immediately... despite oversleeping on the journey home.
haha. questions, comments?
ooh... just have to say this. i'm going to miss my best friend terribly terribly terribly much.
by the way, for all of you who don't know yet. I'll be back at 0000hrs on the 10th december 2004, and then leaving early morning on 4th january 2005. My parents will be back from the 22-28 dec, and so during that time, i wont be seeing you guys (not even for christmas I think... depends). but other than that.... please come hang out with me. I miss you all so so so much.
if you guys didn't know, the 10th dec is also my 20th birthday. =) so... if you are free on that day, it would be wonderful if we could all go for lunch together... i know at night got leader's meeting... so. BUT yeah. my brother will be in singapore too. I dunno.. find some place to just hang out and all. anyone interested?
yeah... and no need to come and pick me up at the airport lah. I guess i'll be so tired that I'll want to go to bed immediately... despite oversleeping on the journey home.
haha. questions, comments?
ooh... just have to say this. i'm going to miss my best friend terribly terribly terribly much.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
drumroll please
Announcing the arrival of Abigail Chow!
http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EegNG7JmybtWGx
Announcing the arrival of Abigail Chow!
http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EegNG7JmybtWGx
Friday, November 19, 2004
yay!!!!
oh wow. I am so so so blessed.
I was so shocked when I heard from the girls in my wing that they saw a package with "Chen, Jeanette" written on it sitting on the post office shelf waiting to be picked up. I never got to the post office unless I was expecting a package... and of course, I was not expecting one.
THANK YOU Ivin and Joyce. =) haha.. I guess i will send then a thank you card later, cos I'm pretty sure they dont read right? but if you all see them before I get to them, can you please tell them how grateful I am? The package really really brightened me up, and it was not getting the goodies, but just knowing that someone back home cared enough about me... God is really really good to let me have people who love me. (Becky will understand the sentiment behind the getting food in the mail i'm sure!)
For all who are interested.. =) I got
care package from joyce and ivin
(In clockwise rotation beginning from the PEZ.
- Hello Kitty PEZ sweet
- Movv and Mov's hairclip (can anyone remember the blue/orange ones I had in sec 3/4? oh my.... I loved them)
- Mug noodles (very cute! got cat and pig... don't ask me what flavours they are though)
- Hello Panda (strawberry, chocolate and milk)
- Hello Kitty strawberry sticks
- Winnie the Pooh chocolate sticks
- Milky milk candy
- Orange Polo sweets (now this one is something I've never seen before)
* haha... i'm so blessed!!! =P
*hug* thanks guys!
but you know, what really really really topped it off, was this letter from Hozanna... just to hear from someone back home... something personal... haha... I think i've read this letter like 5 times in the last 12 hours that i've had it! I haven't got a real paper letter in forever.... of course, I haven't sent out one either... but receiving letters is awesome!!
letter from hozanna
I was so shocked when I heard from the girls in my wing that they saw a package with "Chen, Jeanette" written on it sitting on the post office shelf waiting to be picked up. I never got to the post office unless I was expecting a package... and of course, I was not expecting one.
THANK YOU Ivin and Joyce. =) haha.. I guess i will send then a thank you card later, cos I'm pretty sure they dont read right? but if you all see them before I get to them, can you please tell them how grateful I am? The package really really brightened me up, and it was not getting the goodies, but just knowing that someone back home cared enough about me... God is really really good to let me have people who love me. (Becky will understand the sentiment behind the getting food in the mail i'm sure!)
For all who are interested.. =) I got
care package from joyce and ivin
(In clockwise rotation beginning from the PEZ.
- Hello Kitty PEZ sweet
- Movv and Mov's hairclip (can anyone remember the blue/orange ones I had in sec 3/4? oh my.... I loved them)
- Mug noodles (very cute! got cat and pig... don't ask me what flavours they are though)
- Hello Panda (strawberry, chocolate and milk)
- Hello Kitty strawberry sticks
- Winnie the Pooh chocolate sticks
- Milky milk candy
- Orange Polo sweets (now this one is something I've never seen before)
* haha... i'm so blessed!!! =P
*hug* thanks guys!
but you know, what really really really topped it off, was this letter from Hozanna... just to hear from someone back home... something personal... haha... I think i've read this letter like 5 times in the last 12 hours that i've had it! I haven't got a real paper letter in forever.... of course, I haven't sent out one either... but receiving letters is awesome!!
letter from hozanna
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
it's 7 days to thanksgiving.there's a new song running around inside my head.my room is really clean and i'd like to keep it that waybut it does not reflect my state of mind or heart.Adam plays the guitar really well, but i'd like to give him a punch for embarrassing me.it's not his fault.I've got a lot of homework, and i'm under no academic stressdoes not mean i'm not stressed though, but there is more to life than homework.I'd like to watch a sweet movie.Even work at my slack office assistant job is picking upso much so they got me an internet connection and a phone line.oooh. I learnt new chords from Adam today.I miss msn, i miss talking to people, i miss you.i've got 22 more days to home
counting down...
Sunday, November 14, 2004
if you've seen me online, and i appeared to ignore you, i'm sorry. Maybe i was not there, but i left my computer on, maybe i was there, but busy doing my homework, or something else, or maybe i just couldn't talk to you.
ask me how I am, i'd say "busy and tired": standard operating response. but if you really wanna know, then i can tell you. i'm more than busy and tired... that's kinda physical... but emotionally, i'm stressed, frustrated, confused and just...
I want to isolate, not get hibernate but bury deep... I want to run far and soar away... but i want to stay grounded and work through it.
so... i'm sorry if i've not around like i am usually. i know though, and you are constantly in my thoughts.
i hope that you guys have a wonderful week. i know you all must be excited about BAY camp... and that's awesome. I'll be praying that all of you will have a personal encounter with God and grow... both the leaders and the campers! =) because God is always there. =)
ask me how I am, i'd say "busy and tired": standard operating response. but if you really wanna know, then i can tell you. i'm more than busy and tired... that's kinda physical... but emotionally, i'm stressed, frustrated, confused and just...
I want to isolate, not get hibernate but bury deep... I want to run far and soar away... but i want to stay grounded and work through it.
so... i'm sorry if i've not around like i am usually. i know though, and you are constantly in my thoughts.
i hope that you guys have a wonderful week. i know you all must be excited about BAY camp... and that's awesome. I'll be praying that all of you will have a personal encounter with God and grow... both the leaders and the campers! =) because God is always there. =)
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
fuzzy brain, wet feet, clean room
in my head, there's a this fuzzyness. Like... you've turned on the tv, but all you get is static.
i walked in my socks (to keep my sports shoes from getting wet) in the pouring rain back from class tonight. It was FREEZING cold. and tons of fun.
i cleaned my room. it's been horrible since the invasion of the art project deadlines, but they've retreated to re-evaluated their assignments, while i've taken some control over my physical space!
i walked in my socks (to keep my sports shoes from getting wet) in the pouring rain back from class tonight. It was FREEZING cold. and tons of fun.
i cleaned my room. it's been horrible since the invasion of the art project deadlines, but they've retreated to re-evaluated their assignments, while i've taken some control over my physical space!
good morning WORLD!
I've been up since 3:30am. That's 3 3/4 hours of sleep for last night, and 4 for the night before. You may ask why those hours. =) It's strange. I'm at that point where there's so much work that technically, I can't afford to sleep. But I can't do my work well if I have not rested. So, I go to bed when I can't take it (usually 11:30-12:30 ish) and wake up 4 hours later (round off) and begin work again.
This has kinda been good (i've done this since last wed?) because I'm awake by the time it gets to 6am, when I will change and do my QT. And it's really nice and quiet, serene and just calm. I love mornings. LOVE them.
So good morning world!
Today I declare that I will have dominion over all things. That God's power in me will accomplish great tasks and win great favor. That the strength that I do not have will appear, that the presentations, the projects and the assignments due will be more than acceptable. I speak life and healing into today. I will walk in faith.
And I say the same for you. I pray that you will have joy, peace, hope and experience abundant love today. That God will present Himself to you in places you have not met Him before, and you will have the sweetest companionship you've had in a long while. God whose love never fails will be your shelter, your adventure, your sustenance, your embrace, your song, your anchor, which ever you need, God will be there to love you.
Amen. And good morning God. =)
I've been up since 3:30am. That's 3 3/4 hours of sleep for last night, and 4 for the night before. You may ask why those hours. =) It's strange. I'm at that point where there's so much work that technically, I can't afford to sleep. But I can't do my work well if I have not rested. So, I go to bed when I can't take it (usually 11:30-12:30 ish) and wake up 4 hours later (round off) and begin work again.
This has kinda been good (i've done this since last wed?) because I'm awake by the time it gets to 6am, when I will change and do my QT. And it's really nice and quiet, serene and just calm. I love mornings. LOVE them.
So good morning world!
Today I declare that I will have dominion over all things. That God's power in me will accomplish great tasks and win great favor. That the strength that I do not have will appear, that the presentations, the projects and the assignments due will be more than acceptable. I speak life and healing into today. I will walk in faith.
And I say the same for you. I pray that you will have joy, peace, hope and experience abundant love today. That God will present Himself to you in places you have not met Him before, and you will have the sweetest companionship you've had in a long while. God whose love never fails will be your shelter, your adventure, your sustenance, your embrace, your song, your anchor, which ever you need, God will be there to love you.
Amen. And good morning God. =)
Saturday, November 06, 2004
God answers
this morning, I got up, and told God... that I was tired of sleepy quiet times when i don't get anything because i'm not able to open my eyes long enough to read. I wanted the word... and i wanted it to mean something. and well =) here is Isaiah 28:23-29, in my understanding.
The passage talks of how a farmer does not keep preparing to sow all the time, because he knows when the ground is ready to take the seeds. It then talks about how he will not use the wrong tool for the wrong job, or keep threshing the grain when it is ready to be ground. The farmer has such wisdom, because he learnt it from our Father.
In the same way. God knows each of us. He created us, and knows what we were intended for, when we are ready to face the challenges, and when we are done with that refining moment. Yes, with God it's a repeated process, but just as the farmer knew just how much beating and threshing the grain could bear, God, in His wisdom and love, knows how much we can take.
That spoke to me, cos i'm at the end of my rope. Facing bigger things than I thought possible... and it's not just schoolwork and grades, dont write me off as that shallow, please. It's about family, friends, future... what I do here, what I do EVERYDAY impacts my eternity. And while i cant be threshed everyday, it certainly feels like i'm being threshed now. =) But God knows, and He knows how much I can take, and He knows the right time for everything.
So.
Becky =) it's ok if we cant spend as much time as we wanted... God knows where we are supposed to be at that time, you out there, me back home.
Hazel, jia you... the challenges you face, in family and in school... and in church is what God knows you can handle.
Abby, there's a point where maybe you feel like you are ready... and maybe God knows when the time is perfect...
Cherie, triple science or not... you're God's tool in all ways and He'll know where to place you.
and you. I have faith that God doesn't put two tools like the plough with the yoke if they weren't meant to work together at the right time... so i'm praying...
The passage talks of how a farmer does not keep preparing to sow all the time, because he knows when the ground is ready to take the seeds. It then talks about how he will not use the wrong tool for the wrong job, or keep threshing the grain when it is ready to be ground. The farmer has such wisdom, because he learnt it from our Father.
In the same way. God knows each of us. He created us, and knows what we were intended for, when we are ready to face the challenges, and when we are done with that refining moment. Yes, with God it's a repeated process, but just as the farmer knew just how much beating and threshing the grain could bear, God, in His wisdom and love, knows how much we can take.
That spoke to me, cos i'm at the end of my rope. Facing bigger things than I thought possible... and it's not just schoolwork and grades, dont write me off as that shallow, please. It's about family, friends, future... what I do here, what I do EVERYDAY impacts my eternity. And while i cant be threshed everyday, it certainly feels like i'm being threshed now. =) But God knows, and He knows how much I can take, and He knows the right time for everything.
So.
Becky =) it's ok if we cant spend as much time as we wanted... God knows where we are supposed to be at that time, you out there, me back home.
Hazel, jia you... the challenges you face, in family and in school... and in church is what God knows you can handle.
Abby, there's a point where maybe you feel like you are ready... and maybe God knows when the time is perfect...
Cherie, triple science or not... you're God's tool in all ways and He'll know where to place you.
and you. I have faith that God doesn't put two tools like the plough with the yoke if they weren't meant to work together at the right time... so i'm praying...
Friday, November 05, 2004
this weekend....
1) organise
- clean up the chaotic room
2) do assignments
- story board project
- leadership presentation
- progress reports for counselling
- Ivey assignment (counselling workbook)
- Agency presentation
- and more.... (not due next week though)
3) REST
- I need to rest.
- listen to some jazz
- go work out and get endorphin levels up =)
- talk to people
haha.... i have alot of things on my plate... but they will get done. I'm almost done with the social assessment, and my progress notes are coming along.
I miss all of you guys though. You are on my mind. =)
1) organise
- clean up the chaotic room
2) do assignments
- story board project
- leadership presentation
- progress reports for counselling
- Ivey assignment (counselling workbook)
- Agency presentation
- and more.... (not due next week though)
3) REST
- I need to rest.
- listen to some jazz
- go work out and get endorphin levels up =)
- talk to people
haha.... i have alot of things on my plate... but they will get done. I'm almost done with the social assessment, and my progress notes are coming along.
I miss all of you guys though. You are on my mind. =)
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