hmmm

Hmm...
alright... so i've been rather busy with self reflection for the last few weeks... trying to get a hold of who I am and God.

and i think I have come to this conclusion.

I am blessed.

I feel at times cheated of the things I thought I should have. I feel at times lost without the people I thought I had. I feel at times unhappy with the things I do have. I feel at times mad at the thought of the things I have lost. I feel at times dissapointed with the person I thought I was. I feel at times crazy with the things that I have not taken good care of. I feel at times distant from the God that I thought had me.

But I am blessed. I might think one way, and might act one way, and might feel all this ways... but I am blessed. It's been a long road to this point, but i'm here... I can stand and say, i'm content. It is good. I can rejoice....

Cabin fever.

Snow
Freezing rain
Icy roads

Bleah.


I know... i know snow sounds exciting... and I guess if you were in a holiday chalet someway in the Alps or somewhere where the snow means luxury, then it's pretty exciting...

But where snow means dangerous driving, (accidents happen about like once every ten minutes!! it's a nightmare) and it means that it's too cold to go running, or wash your car, or even your clothes (I'm a wuss, but the washer and dryer are in the garage which pretty open)... then snow gives me cabin fever. I didn't even get to church. that makes me really sad!

SNOW!

What a conclusion to a somewhat tumultous week.

I switched babysitting days for tue/wed this week cos Jenn needed me too.
Went to screen on mon/thu
Went to school on fri
Spent 4 1/2 hours making envelopes for the survey
V-day came and went
Bible study was amazing, and I bought a new and amazing devotional book
I mailed my taxes
I did not do my homework
I went to aerobics twice this week
I went to Applebees and the mall with Anne, Eileen and Lynnette
I drove in freezing rain
I drove on snowed roads
Cooked twice this week. Big batch of chicken stew, and then chicken soup
Brought Lynnette to pick up her parcel
Went to grocery store...
Watched olympics

Well, lots of things...
but what i did doesn't how I feel... and i am suffering from a sever case of SAD.
Seasonal Affective Disorder
I.e. Winter depression.

The snow might be pretty, but the chilly weather and the inability to get outside and exercise really really puts me in a down mood.

well =) things are looking up... there's church tomorrow! and i LUUUURVE church!

hmm... and God loves me, so i should be happy right? =)

fun at the zoo

I miss the Singapore Zoo.

Other than that, the Tulsa Zoo trip was a stellar expedition for the Honors Fellows to take. It was a bright, sunny, blue-skyed day, which coupled with blustery winds and winter weather, made for a real treat. The indoor exibits were tolerable, but nothing extraordinary, nothing to make to day special except for one thing... one guy that stole my heart.

Heh. Chill. I'm not talking about like a classmate or anything... but little Owen, with a winsome smile, a blonde tousled head of questions and hands that were magnetic to all things dirt. I wish I had taken pictures... OOOHHH.. so cute.

So much for spending time catching up with old friends... I didn't get to talk much to the girls (Katie, Jen, Sarah, Abby or Kristen... not even Jamie and Lisa). I spent most of my time chasing this little boy around and being delighted and disgusted (puddle-stamping, dirt-finding)! Heh... little kids are so awesome... you know?

You and I go to the zoo to see animals... and we make all sorts of comments about them. He? He found the lamposts, recycling bins and etched pavements just as every bit interesting as the monkeys, birds fishes and what-nots. He also discovered what echo is.

So anyway... because of little Owen, I spent most of my time with Dr Korstad and Adam- them being the only 3 males in our girly bunch.

Argh. Help me! I need to get over this cute kid... but really.. doesn' your heart just melt when this little 3-4? year old kid runs down the pavement yelling, "O-R-U, O-R-U" heh. =) He's special.

I can only Imagine

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
- Mercy Me