SEE SEE!

driver license!

Praise God! I'm so excited... that it's finally over, that i dont have this burden on my shoulders! I can drive! haha... (i was so excited i almost posted it with all my information on there!!! but thankfully remembered in time to smudge it all)

in the midst of all my exams.. all I can say is...
"Oh Lord, how you bless me!"
I know i've done so many things wrong... i've been stressed and angry and mad and sad and well... in all my "despiteness" God, is still God. How blessed am I, that I am not the one in charge? I'd wreck my entire life just the way i've wrecked... well... just the way i've wrecked my relationships with some and stuff.

By the way? I know I'm not supposed to email till after my exam is over... but I want to say sorry first. I truly dont understand what is going on, but I think it's the not understanding that is my fault... so yeah. I can't make everything better, but I will be praying for you and your finals, and hopefully that everything will be perfected in God's timing.

jireh and I 

gosh... i'm angry... haha.. maybe i need to go for some of the anger management classes that I work with at my practicum site. I think i've handled them pretty well though.

I'm angry that my teachers don't seem to care about how much load their students can take without breaking down and have their brains fried. I mean literally fried. It's ridiculous and I know it, but it's my what.. hundred thousand dollar education and I have to accept that God is bigger than their assignments and finals.

I'm really sad. I guess i should have known better... and not tried to care for everyone and probably end up hurting everyone instead. But... my intentions were miscontrued.. and gosh. that's just not fair! I dunno.. i guess i feel that i spent all the time, effort, money and everything... to show someone I cared... not to get whacked for the.. ARGH!!! ok.. i'm stressed and defensive and it probably isn't a big deal. What i cant figure out is... does she really think i'm that callous? or is it just her self-esteem. Neither is really a good answer...

okie.. sorry for that. =) haha. am i ok i guess i wil be in about 4 dyas when this craziness is over and I can just er... throw myself into another kinda of hecticness.

been a while since i updated huh? haha... guess why?

good guess! it's finals next week... haha.. needless to say, i'm taxed, stress and desiring to simply sleep. I actually need to be doing alot of things, but am putting them off.

well. the countdown is what?
57 days to singapore,
31 days to end of school
9 days to finals

i know, counting down makes me happy.

I failed my driving test! argh

so so insane. I'm slightly bloated and emotional right now, i think i will go and hide under the covers till i'm ready to face the world.

you know? it's one of those weeks that a simple "i can't talk to you" can make me cry... or stupid things like forgetting to transfer money so that i'm running into deficit in my bank account, or not collecting my cheque, or not finishing my essay, or argh! stuff lah. well.. suffice to say that the tears come like *snap* haha. take it as a warning... this week, unless you love me a whole bunch, stay away. haha. not that any of you are anywhere near me anyway right?

i'm much better now. =) Thanks for all the concern guys...

It;s been a crazy week.. especially for someone just recovering from the fever. But then again, it was cos of the fever that I had piled-up work and hence a busy busy busy week. Not to say that this week is not going to be busy. What on earth am I talking about?

Well, currently, I am putting off writing my 15 page paper. I have about 3 pages... well-written. and about a 1 1/2 pages of ramblings.. I am determined to write at least up to 7 pages tonight... and then tomorrow morning, another 2, afternoon another 5 and then finish off with another 2 at night, plus the checking.

this means I should not be here rambling away. But I am! heh. I shall put up pics soon... but I had a great weekend. Jireh, most wonderfullest JC friend that even existed. =P came down to visit me... and well, it was good. It wasn't "it was a blast!" good... it was "sigh, *smile*" good.. we talked alot... and still had more to say lah.. of course. but i mean... after not having seen her for two years... it did me alot of good to have her with me... to encourage me. She is such a blessing!

and more stuff lah. Darren (kor kor!) heh, came back to Tulsa for this weekend, and was absolutely great in taking us out... brought Eileen and I to the mall too. He's awesome lah. I mean... haha.. metrosexual maybe... but he's really nice about letting us shop, helping us get what we need... and despite the fact that he doesn;t talk much, i like being around him. He's that kinda of guy you can call and know that everything will be alright.

For that matter, so is Ronald. Maybe he's deprived of younger sisters.. but yeah. This weekend, he sacrificed Ling's apartment so that Jireh and I could spend the night there (she's not allowed to sleep in the dorms). And he was SO nice about it too... even sent us there himself.

Haha... yeah. God has been good to me lah. Maybe the reason why I am slacking right now. =P After getting through last week, I feel like there's nothing that can stop me. Tomorrow night, and possibly Tuesday morning, I might be desperately working on my paper. Argh. for now, I am mildly content to say "Thank You God".

You know? It's 2 more weeks to finals... which will be over in 3 days. So the official countdown goes.... 17 days to end of semester, 37 days to family holiday and 66 days to Singapore.
Well.. of course I will be immediately off to Malacca, then KL, then Sabah... before returning home for a longer period of time... but wow. I know to you guys it's a bunch of numbers, but to me, it means something more.

Knowing that the end is in sight. That there are no longer infinite days to be waiting. It really eases some of my burdens. You all know how much I miss home, miss my friends, miss my food, miss my church! yes.... heh. since I'm ranting, and raving. I might as well go ahead and miss away.

I miss...
breakfast in the morning with cherie: hearing good news, sharing good news, praising God.
worship on sunday: whether leading with Ivin, or standing next to Becks, singing away.
dtc and the great discussions we can get into when we are actually trying to learn
sunday lunches with hazel and the rest... tomyam or fish soup
sunday afternoons with hozea... just hanging out
saturday mornings and worship practices
BAY and the entirity of the afternoon being taken away
my cell girls and their sincerity, and their open-ness
Captain's ball
Dinner at night: hot and sweaty, but really great fellowship
stayover at becks' house: whether we talk all night, or we crash and fall asleep...
friday leader meetings.

and then more...
endless vcd watchings with my jie, with dark chocolate, fruits, bread and butter... and i-spy
reading books in the library
marine parade
watching movies and squirming at the horrible scenes
seeing cute things that i want to buy
eating peanut pancake... and waffle!!! argh...
milk tea, teh-c, teh-bing, green tea, chrysenthemum tea...
cycling under the stars
sitting on swings
early morning breakfasts alone at Blk 156

sigh. =) Well, i know that when i go home, there'll be things i miss here too... maybe not so much, but i cant say I wont miss the open skies, the squirrels... =)

i hate fever

fever=miserable=alone in room=hot and cold=homework not getting done= sleeping alot= tired=achey=bored=frustrated=sad=bad=mad

bleah...

Eileen turning 21...

eileen and me


me in the restaurant


elaine, yiling, eileen (try saying that fast!)


yay. back in my room!