AMAZING!

Amazing Love
I'm forgiven because You were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
And I'm alive and well, Your Spirit lives within me
Because You died and rose again.

Amazing Love
How can it be
That You, my King would die for me
Amazing Love
I know it's true
And it's my joy to honor You
In all I do, I honor You.

I think... I think I take being alive and well for granted. But truly being alive isn't about existing, it's about existing with meaning. That's what sets life apart from non-life. I know I can be passionate about alot of things, and some of them seem like godly ambitions, and some of them secular. But it's what i'm passionate about that makes me live. I am passionate about God... but i'm passionate about Singapore, about relationships, about helping, about art... but my purpose? I guess it's to honor God. Can I do it? I hope so... but not by my own willpower. By my own strength, i'd be lying in my bed failing again and again. I'd be cranky, snap at loved ones, have nervous breakdowns, walk around in a daze and never seem to kick the guilt feeling and find peace. But with God, it has already been done. He died, to give me life, not an existence... but a purposeful life. It has been done.

Is is really my joy to honor Him. To be honest, that takes time. I can't say that I don't enjoy serving God... I do, I love ministering... but it's not just about being in church with people I love and can pour out into. It's more. Honoring God with joy means sitting in Tulsa with joy, it means studying with joy, it means talking to my parents with joy, it means connecting with my friends with joy, it means living out my responsibilities with joy... maybe it even means missing home with joy. Lately... that's not been happening! BUT! I'm claiming my joy back, i'm leaning on Him. I want to be able to be real about the joy inside of me.. it's welling up!

I'm holding nothing back
I give you every part
My soul has been released
Your love has captured my heart...