more stuff to see...

me... in the hallway

Julie took this photo with the sunlight coming in from behind me.. so when edited.. it has this cool white effect... which I really like!



my logo

and this is what i've been working on for a LONG time... at least 5 hours! =)

visual review..

well, i know you guys must be bored of all my typing... even I cant stand it anymore! so heres... a whole bunch of pictures taken over various days...

http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EegNG7JmybtWFf
- My TCCC college friends as Chris and Jenn's house for a movie and pizza night. Chris and Jenn are like my tulsa family here, they are incredibly nice and absolutely wonderful. =) and their son is Mason... remember him??? aww.... hmm.. oh and Kevin is the guy who wrote the song.

http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EegNG7JmybtWFs
- This other link is random other pics of my wing (Karis) and my chinese friends and my APA (Academic Peer Advisor) dorm group (which means other APA's not from Braxton as well). Just some things that I've been doing here....

the trip to Marshall Elementary

Today was my interview at Marshall Elementary, to get there, I took a Tulsa Public Bus. And honestly, the experience was not too bad. But imagine this. I have an interview, but it's 32 degrees outside. I am wearing a pink sleeveless blouse, brown tailored pants and heels! Tottered my way across campus and to the bus stop, waited a long time and all... haha. Writing it out doesn't sound as hilarious as I felt.. I was so amused at myself... oh well... the most interesting thing is next.

Once I got on the bus, I felt like I was transported onto a movie set. The typical jolly African American bus driver, with his regulars sitting close by laughing and joking. A couple of scattered old ladies in the middle, and at the back, slouching guys under caps... perhaps somewhat tramp-looking. It was afternoon though... so I was not too scared.... But more than that.. the bus driver's name is Solomon! How movie-ish is that? and and.... He's writing a book... about a jazz musican in chicago... and the characters names are Dante and Reality. How do I know this? He had his first two chapters written in his briefcase and let his regulars take a look. The lady who was reading it out was straight out of a movie too! Beautiful voice, tattered jeans, super bright blouse on....

and... when all this was happening.. I was thinking... GOSH! I should write about this! What are the odds of actually meeting a novel-writing bus driver with a flirty, kinda boisterious female friend (who really though had another guy sitting next to her, looked like she was really close to him too) and getting the novel read in the bus! But I fail when it comes to words...

But I betcha Becky would have appreciated it! I think she would have drank in the whole moment, the jerky bus, the loud laughter, the innuedos... All I thought of was "She wore a blouse, it was attention grabbing, but in an unattractive way". Talk about bad literary skills... and I took literature for As! eeps... And I missed Becky lots! I figure that the one person who could appreciate me stepping out and having an adventure and still have fun with me on it without pointing out the various hazards, or telling me i'm making too big of a deal of it and still understanding how I feel about it is her! right Becks? Better agree with me!!!

Gosh. Best friends do alot of things. I miss having my best friend... my close friends... But! =) I have God, new friends... a new-found church and lots and lots and lots of classes!

Oh. I miss my parents too. I called them a couple of days ago and my whole family was too busy to talk to me. I haven't heard from them really in like 3 months. I miss them....

Argh. I shall go sing my song to make me feel better, and remind me of the blessings.. plentiful they are that I have! for example, having friends that can write nice songs, and chatting to Benben online! Oh! and reading books.... other than textbooks, been squeezing in a little fun reading too! yay!

and now i'm all happy! i love God... and I am grateful for what I have in Him!

bored of my words?

sorry if you are bored. I kinda feel like typing today.

God spoke to me yesterday while I was walking back to my room. It was a simple phrase "godly does not equal to loving God". Ok, before you think I'm speaking blasphemy, hear me out. I've had a list of qualities that I want my future husband to have for a long time... and the top thing on the list says "he must love God". But you can love God, but not be godly. Being godly means to try and be as pure and close to God such that you emulate Him... it should stem from loving God, but some people never get to that point. So you can serve God, and go to church, and be a great friend, and help others... but you may not be godly because your intentions were never to specifically set yourself apart for God and give Him everything to allow Him to mold you.

I want a godly man. Because... because I intend on being a godly woman. But I intend on being a godly woman because I love God and I know He is real and loves me... and not because of some other reason.

that thought aside... I miss home. The prospect of going home in december is diminishing because flight prices has gone up. =) I trust in God though. Whatever happens will be ok. =)

how is everyone back home? i miss you ALL!

time for thinking

I just read "I kissed dating goodbye". I know many of you will balk and think that it's ridiculous, especially since you are going to have parents and others tell you its a good book. Unfortunately, I am probably included in that. I cannot say I agree with everything that Joshua Harris says, but I want to say that it's a good book to read to start you thinking about your own life critically. Being able to weigh where you are at... and if you are convinced, then change. So... I strongly recommend this book. A decision I think I'm making is to up my standard in terms of relationships. I always thought I was pretty good, but I feel I can be even better in this area.

I just watched "The day after tommorrow". I learnt in Bio class this summer that most of the water wont come from the melting of the ice caps, but rather the expansion of the sea water. But the important thing that I took from this movie is that our death can come anytime. So we have to, got to live out what we have with confidence, passion and intention. No point messing around with things that are not important... because... when we face that big wave that will wipe us out... (if that happens), how we look wont matter, what we had sitting in our closet wont either, and ... well a ton of other stuff. We can live out our portion to the fullest and be prepared to go to heaven! =)

okie. goodnight people back home!

just another ramble...

I talked to a friend on the phone today for a long time... the longest time I have been on the phone with anybody who actually lives in america at the same time I am in the same town I am in. That was fun =) and kinda interesting.

so the big question about personalities... I have been taking pyschology, leadership classes, and social work stuff and everything just keep bombarding me with this stuff.. and friends too! hozea's blog and beck's and serene's... and then there's Kevin and his four temperaments... !!! eeps. Sorry... i just feel like... like sometimes i'm not the personality I wanna be, and though I love myself and appreciate who I am... there's this little part of me that wishes maybe I were less extroverted, sanguine... and more quiet, reflective... and then another part that wishes I weren't such a perfectionist control freak type, and that I was an easy-going, happy-go-lucky girl. But God made me who I am... so instead of coveting other people's personalities.. haha. I think I'm going to work on 1) using my personality to help others and bless them 2) polishing up the bad parts... 3) understanding myself to a point where I can be a better social worker, leader and friend

other things on my mind. I am really tired. I started work today, it was good. Romania won the women's gym team gold, they are awesome. social workers are not allowed to have any sort of casual relations with clients. I cant wait to wake up at 6am tomorrow, though i will not be sleeping quite yet (midnight). I miss home. I am going to play for devos this thurs, need God to help me choose songs. I am going to miss Kevin's worship leading, and him and Jeff in general. This is a year for fulfilling God's word, according to President Roberts and Kenneth Copeland. I am waiting still, but it's hard. I went to get my social security number yesterday. I feel so out of touch. Are you guys in touch with me?

okie... back to social work.

sappy stories...

so the freshmen have come in... and while there are only 3 freshmen on my wing, i guess i've lucked out and one of them has a boyfriend! =) so we were up late on tuesday night... despite being really tired and just gone, listening to her love story.

I actually like hearing love stories. I'm pretty sure I do at least... that night though, I felt like I wanted to cry. Maybe it was the overwhelming tiredness... or maybe just feeling awkward cos I was the odd one out... or maybe just maybe... I'm tired of not being able to be in her place.

This is her story. She met he at a conference for high school seniors like 6 months back. She was getting frustrated at the speaker and was looking at the clock. He thought she was looking at him (egocentric male =) sorry...). She felt bad, and the next day, encouraged by friends, she went to find him and apologise. He thought that he had known her and forgot who she was, but talked to her like he knew who she was. She began chatting to him online and text messenging. All this time, he liked another girl. But, when it came to a special night (prom night), she went with him. He discovered that he loved her and she was more precious because she actually liked him too. They fell in love... and 2 months ago, he asked her to be his girlfriend. Sad thing is that he is elsewhere, and she is here.

So there. Guy finds out that he's being stupid and the right girl was standing right there infront of him all the time. She is awesome and forgives him. More than that, that girl is really good for him... she encourages him and helps him to grow, and he is grateful to her for that. He keeps striving to be more and more godly.

It's an encouraging love story. Not particularly the one I want. Kinda tough loving someone and being on the side watching him be with someone else... =) but some sort of a love story with a nice ending would be good. So anyway.. I felt like crying.. and i went back to my room and cried... but that's ok. it's thurday now and i'm not crying! haha...

okie.. that's my sappy whining for today. Thanks for putting up with me guys..
haha.. =)

my home is not cold

Kevin wrote a song (and Jeff added a word) partially for me... =) it's an amazing song... and it's sweet and really mellow.. and well... i love it... though it makes me wanna go home so bad...

You sent me here to Oklahoma
Though I'd rather not be here
All my friends are far away now
And when I think of home I shed some tears

I left my heart back overseas
Where I can feel the warm breeze
And it never gets colder than 28 degress
So though it seems I fit right in
I want to go back home again
Where I won't be cold and I'm not alone

All I seem to do is study
And there's rarely time for fun
Maybe I want some distraction
So I won't think about the home I love

There are times I yearn for just one kindred soul
So that we can talk about our dear loved home


there.... isn't that nice? I cant express to you how much I feel... I know that I didn't tell Kevin exactly how true it is... and how when I sing the chorus i wanna cry... and cry... and be back home.

So who is Kevin? He's a college student in my church and Jeff is one too! I met them over this summer when I was back and we've hung out some and they have both been such a blessing to me. They helped me move into my dorm, take me to go read books, play games and eat and just... I will miss them. They are both studying elsewhere and so... I might never get to see them much again. (hopefully not staying next summer...)

Kevin is the guitar maestro (talented musician with the violin and piano and what not too) and smart... and is going to medical school. He loves to read, and has lent me alot of books too... but he's great at writing songs.. and he helped me study for my finals too. Jeff is really sweet and strong!! haha.. he's funny and makes me laugh so much. I think I really appreciate Jeff's sweetness cos when he talks about his girlfriend, he's got this look in his eyes. I know the girls will appreciate the sweet sentiment of knowing a guy who can love his girlfriend. =) (Kevin does not do this cos he has no girlfriend!) And he's sweet... asking how I am, how my guitar is (which is fixed by the way) and showing me journals I will like... and stuff like that. thoughtful. Best thing is that they are good fellowship for me, I feel like i'm back with you guys when I'm with them... or at least back with my guy buddies... making them play songs for me, making them decide what to do =) benben (are you even reading this?).. you know what i'm talking about?

Of course. they are going to start school soon. and that'll be it! sigh. I am going to miss them.

and I miss you back home. Especially... well, you know who you are. =) there are too many to write...

I have been so busy with orientation and all.. have so much stuff i want to share with all of you, but no time.

I think it is really strange how you'd think with everything going on in this place for me, that i'll have no time to think about home. But every day I do.. everything about me makes me think of people back home... and well... specifically you guys. =)

*big long hug that doesn't end to soon because i feel like I really need to be within the arms of a close heart who will comfort me and love me back and just give me some encouragement*
=) but Praise God! because I will bless Him when I'm tired and when I'm not. Rejoice in the Lord always! =) keep your hopes up... in Him =)

some thoughts for this time.

I am busy. and in a way stressed. this doesn't stop me from thinking about people I miss though, it had kept me from expressing that.

I have exams, i really need to study.

I am part of a counter culture. I know we all perceive culture differently too, but I am part of the counter culture that wants to love God so much that I want to be as holy (set apart) as possible... so I stay away from anything that may ressemble wrong.

I got a body pillow. It is nice and comfy.

I want to go home.

I cannot wait for the next week to be over.

I wish somebody would talk to me. I need to have some communication.

I am excited about school this year.

MASON!

presenting joshua mason chow! =)


well.. i didn't have time to do a better job compiling the pics... i'm head up in unpacking, decorating, studying for correspondence and trying not to be stressed =) But here he is... adorable and all =)

bouncing back! =)

i'm finally back in my dorm... and then moving out tomorrow... to my dorm room for fall. summer is finally over. Haha... betcha no other person but me would link "finally" to the end of a holiday. Well.. in my head... the thinking is like this "after summer, there's fall... and then there's fall break, thanksgiving break and then christmas break... then there's spring... and then FINALLY home" so.. the faster summer passes, the faster I get home. Yes... scientifically the days are the same length... but what I experience is different!

Oh! and I am so blessed! I will put up pics of Mason soon. But I just wanna say that God is so good. Here am I, poor, lonely college student... I meet Jennifer and Chris. They have a really cute kid. And then... I get to stay in a big house for a week, eat good food, play with a really adorable kid (a lot of babysitting) and I get to meet their church friends too. And.. after living off them (water, food and travel?) for a lil over a week.. they bless me with a love gift.. a really big amount... because they say I blessed them by taking care of Mason and they want to help me to save up to go home in Dec. I am astonished. God is incredible.

So praise God, because I now have a fund (not started by me!) for getting me home... but i feel like i've also found a family. And despite all this establishing of roots here... I still wanna go home.. =) *hug* love you guys there...
goodnight!