almost over

"it's almost over.... it's almost over" isx the phrase that keeps repeating in my mind... I'm running towards the finish line.. to be honest... this is crazy and I'm only sneaking in a little time to post this before I have to rush and finish everything else I have to do.

Too vague to explain.. suffice to say I'm @!#$%^&*( excited about returning in 4 days... but today when Gloria said in very static English as usual " I will mi---ss you/ when/ you are.. er.. go back." and Ivy silently wrote on a piece of paper " I hope you will come back agin" and corrected it to "again".... I... sigh. HOW does this strange thing hapen when you love so much you wanna cry? I'll miss them for sure.

notice for MIA

I am posting a notice to declare that I will officially be MIA for the next 11 days till I reach Singapore. I will have no handphone number till the 20th... then everything will resume and I shall expect many welcome home messages!~~! =) ok.. actually.. no please don't. Hahah... I cannot imagine what I shall do if my hp is flooded with sms.

Anyway... as it is the last week here, coupled with olympics fever.. I actaully have alot of work to complete before I can say that I've done my duty well.

I'll be leading "songs" this sunday.. all in Mandarin... expecting the HS to turn up powerfully. =P hee. I'm also battle ear lobe infection which has me running to the hospital daily for "cleaning". I'm not taking Chinese antibiotics... so if something terrible happens... just know that I believe that it's His will anyway!!1 Meanwhile, keep me in your reyarps. ;)

Additionally. UYF is down with a swollen foot that is fast improving with grape juice... but please also think of him. He shall be "speaking" this sunday.

We have a concert on saturday for which I am to play the guitar for three songs!!! egad! also remember that...

and most importantly that during these last few days His will will be done in our own lives and for the lives of others....

SEEYA SOON!!!

YAY!!!

Ok... it's 6:11am in the morning... and I'm not in the lab! Ah Lian has kindly activated one of the old ethernet wires that is strung up to the third floor... So i'm not sitting in a very hot room but able to get some kind of access to the internet. I say "some kind" because the connection is lost every 5 or sic seconds and I have to keep pulling the cord out and plugging it back in to actually send info. But I'm not complaining!

=) It's been a long while folks... how are you? It's suffice to say that I'm busy. I can barely believe that in two weeks time, I'll be on my way home from a stopover in Guangzhou! I'm further excited byt the fact that with some things going on, He has provided a way to come home 12 hours earlier so I have some more time to spend with my family (my parents are leaving on the 20th August). Now, I'll be flying back from GZ on UYF's flight and reaching at 3pm? ont he 19th! So... though I have this IDMC conference thingy... we can meet up 20th night? for dinner? or supper?? Hee.. I know it's like WAY too early to be making plans like these... but I'm so darn excited about returning and seeing all again!

I miss everything now. I've really gotten to the point where anything about home makes me wanna break down and sob and come back. HAHAHA. ok... not so bad, I'm being dramatic. I do miss home... but I have a naggy feeling that in a week, I'm going to be thinking how much I will miss the people here and then I won't be so eager for home anymore. =(

This weekend... in the midst of all the prep for this week.. I was really just thinking... what is home like now? I've been gone for almost 2 months... how different is it? I imagine that people could have changed alot. BAY probably has too... I hopw all this change has been for good though. Looking forward to being updated about everything when I finally reach home!!!

Ah Lian's birthday

as promised...

From Ai's travels

and a couple more photos in my travels album

To and fro in 2 days.






Hmm... I am by grace alive and well... tired out and slightly traumatized, but not too badly hit that I will never come back... enough that I woul not want to ride a bus from Liannan to Shenzhen straight anymore.









I ad a good experience though. I met the NICEST aunty in Hongkong who brought me to the most posh dinner place to have roasted goose, wanton and vegetables... when I kept telling her "simple will do." She moved her home office so I could have a room to sleep in, and she bought a sim card for me to call Singapore (calling to M-comm). She refused to accept money for it... She let me use her internet, brought me water.... ... she gave me stuff to eat on the way back and even woke up at 5:30am to bring me all the way to East Tsim Sha Tsui station (as in take MTR with me) ... Ah.. that was being bles/sed no doubt.



Apart from meeting her, I got to buy some supplies. =)

So all in all I can only say that I guess He wanted me to go through the experience.... sighs. 26 more days to home. Honestly... I'm missing home more and more and more and more.

Do you know that they do not sell butter here??? heh. so can't even try to survive bread and butter. I'm craving rest... convenience... cleanliness... safety... boyfriend and family.

I really do miss my family now. I miss sharing food with my jie... or my brother who TALKS... I thought my brother always sleeps or shuts himself in his room, but after seeing UYF.. I think my brother is rather good after all.

Argh. I don't want to complain. I am here for a reason... but it's getting harder and harder.

Tomorrow I have classes again to "bu" the days I missed. I need grace.

Hello Hongkong!

I'll be travelling to Hong Kong tomorrow... and I'm kinda happy about it. Haha... because it gives me a break. Strangely enough, the feeling of being busy never changes despite where you are. And so... even though I willingingly came to LN, and I do like interacting with the students... the need for reprieve is ever present. I guess the One above knew that I would need it.

Imagine that! travelling is a break! hahaha... the old enai hates travelling to the core and rather not travel at all... yet somehow I am learning joy in this. strange.

and yes. PLEASE REMEMBER us here. crasy things have been happening, proving to us that though He is victorious, the evil one somehow enjoys crippling us from time to time. sadistic really.

- Wen Ying got locked into the toilet and took an hour plus before they dismantled the door knob and rescued her. She was pretty darn scared.
- The photocopier's "toner life" ended! after one week and less than two reams of copies. It's supposed to print 10, 000 copies.
- Washing machine is broken.. takes more than 6 hours to wash clothes
- Frequent electricity cut-offs....
- Students who don't want to learn but are forced and go through alot of hazzle and emotional turmoil.

grr! Get behind us!!!! That's all I wanna say. Whatever it is, we will persevere.... until I have no more life (since my voice has gone).

eeps...

Wow.. time flies and I can't believe it's been 4 full days since I've blogged. Recently, days have been so busy and the weather has been so hot that I haven't even felt like using the internet.

I currently have 3 different classes.
1) A primary school class on Tue/Thu from 8:30am to 10:30am
2) A secondary school class every weekday from 2pm to 3:30pm (8 students)
3) A secondary school class on Mon/Wed/Fri from 10 to 11:30am (3 students)

It sounds light... 2 classes a day, each about 2 hrs... but in actual fact, each secondary school student needs about 1hr to 3hrs of extra time to practice conversation and other things. It's been terribly hectic and I have to say that I can only er... continue at this pace through grace. and hopefully the students will start to get better... eeps!

On top of that, there's syllabus and worksheets to prepare. Meanwhile I'm also trying in my own small way to support SJ and her work with the interns. I'm also trying to get to know EV better. UYF is just way out of my league, so I'm depending on grace to work with him.

Anyway, I have to go and print worksheets. The boss is sitting next to me, and I don't wanna be slacking! =)

Oh! btw, I met Shenwei for like an hour yesterday, he's back in his hometown today and will be swinging by again on the 25th before he goes to ChangSha.

ENCI!!!

Enci spent half an hour in my room today.... playing the the guitar, camera and hairband.... Too cute lah!!!

Photos!!

Ai's travels

Missing....

I am missing you. (ok, I don't know who is reading this, but if you know me, then i am definately missing you!)

Today is Sunday, and unlike sundays at home, this day is simply less hectic in the morning as ser/vice is in the afternoon... after lunch. And it's only an hour long. I haven't been to ch/urch for a long time... since the first week I was in LN. I almost cried at hearing others pr/ay so sincerely. Huili led wor/ship for the first time... she's so devoted and faithful. I was struck by her pr/ayers.

But. I miss... I miss...

• the koin/nonia and the family in it's entire-ity (is there such a word?).
• the cute kids running around that can say hello, and those that can't...
• the aunties and uncles who wish you well and always ask how my parents are
• the wor/ship with words I can understand and tunes I know
• the commun/ion and the remembering
• the offering, the ser/mon the announcements
• the friends, sisters and brothers who say good morning
• my class and the wonderful questions they have
• the lunch afterward catching up
• the knowledge that we'll see each other next week
• the familiarity of being known
• the leaders and the spur-of-the-moment publicities
• the china team-ers and the meetings on 4th floor

argh. But am grateful for a chance to open my eyes and see sunday in LN... i'm grateful for this fell/ow/ship because it's SO MUCH better than having nothing... and it is very meaningful. I am grateful I can understand a very large part of it... more than UYF. Heh. So.. yes. I am grateful still. I am content still.

Whats been goin on

wow... I feel like I've spent a week here already just by the amount of work that I've been doing. Ok... in all honesty, I do like being busy... and I guess I am good at doing certain things. So, I am grateful that I can offer something to this place... but I'm beep* tired and everytime I walk out to take a drink, I see Uncle Yew Fook cutting paper! argh. how unfair is that?

Haha... ok. For the past two days we've been planning the syllabus. I've been typing up making worksheets for elementary 1-3, 4-6 and secondary students. Scanning, finding pictures, passages, formatting, using photoshop, typing endlessly, correcting broken english, figuring out if this is suitable and mediating between Siow Jen (SJ) and Uncle Yew Fook (UYF). Now SJ is very nice and she is very busy... but she has like 10 staff to care for and she's mostly cooking or talking to parents. UYF on the under hand has many great ideas but no way to put things down into hard fact. SAVE me! =\

Oh well. By grace. I'm learning to say this too often =P

P/S: I wanna come online and put up my pictures and all.. but I'm sorry.. I'm WAY too busy. couple more days maybe.

in Liannan FINALLY!!!

Am finally in Liannan. How I got here is truly by grace alone. Though it was in all human terms a very uncomfortable journey, I acutally am not too traumatised by it. In fact, if I had to, I would do it again, of course not by my own might or power, but really by grace alone.

I left for Babu (eight steps) on a 8:30am bus that was supposed to take 3.5 hrs. We took 6 hours. Since I was informed that there was only 4 buses from Babu to Lianzhou a day, I was concerned I would not make the transit in time. I reached Babu at 2:30pm instead of 12pm. The bus driver was not very helpful and couldn't tell me how to get a ticket for a Lianzhou bus. The police guard told me that I could only get a bus from Dongzhan (east station). I was told to take a "San Lun Che" (3-wheel car) there.

Heh.. again by grace I found an aunty riding a tricycle who brought me there for 5 yuan. At Dongzhan, the ticketing officer was very nice and gave me a good seat on the last bus at 3:30pm! The bus was a non-airconditioned, small bus with no luggage compartment and no rules. But thank G-d, it was a beautiful day, not too hot with plenty of nice scenery. I was so grateful to be next to the window where I could stick my head out when the smoking got too bad and breathe some fresh air.

I actually heard the bus uncle say that he couldn't stop in Liannan in cantonese (Lin Nam), but he was kind enough to drop me at the Guang Chang in Liannan 3.5 hrs later at 7:30pm. There, to my delight, I was greeted by Ah Lian and Huili.

Everyone (Mum, Ah Lian, Huili, Uncle Yew Fook, Siow Jen) all say I was very brave. But I am not. And I shall boast in my weakness… I HATE travelling.. and I am/was scared of travelling all alone in unfamiliar ground. But… there is the One above who takes such good care of me… and in His faithfulness I will glory.

In Yangsuo

We've finally reached Yangsuo. It's been a pretty long and eventless day. Travelling bus rides of 5.5 hrs then anothe 2 hrs before reaching here from Heng Yang (which was already 3.4 hrs from Changsha). I choose not to dwell on the bad parts.. the extra ppl sitting on stools in the middle aisles, the loud beeps every 5 seconds... =) and well.. simply accept. Content to be on my way to a holiday.

Things are alright. I think i really can't get used to spending so much time with just my parents. It scares me... in a way, i'm looking forward to being off... but not looking forward to being alone. sigh!!!

well.. the good part is there's a place for me to check my email and update me blog here! =) free! of course i have to queue up... but well. =) least I can check for stuff

how this journey began

I feel a little regretful that I did not really get a chance to share with people how, why and what this trip to China is all about. The only person that knows everything I know is probably my dearest boyfriend. The One above knows a lot more than I do about what is going on. I didn't want to say much because it was scary and painful to talk about something that I was not sure was going to happen... and could not explain very well.

Several months ago, when the team was sharing on m-sunday about their dec trip, and there was mention of a teaching trip this year, I was very interested... mainly because it seemed like a good idea to do something more than 2 weeks. But as things rolled around and it was not at a good timing, and I wanted to actually leave work after July, I was not too sure that I wanted to do it, especially when there was nobody in charge, and it looked at though there would not even be a the opportunity to go.

But somehow, I persevered in trying to make this happen. I did things I was totally unsure about... leaving work, talking to random uncles, emailing and calling and mostly just doing alot of "warfare". Troubles came aplenty in the form of requests to stay longer at work, visa issues that wouldn't work out, people dropping out of the trip (leaving just me and one uncle)... and the whole issue of travelling alone. But throughout these problems that really left me wondering what the One above was thinking.... I had encouragement in the form of support from people around (without me asking), andjust confirmation after confirmation that I was meant to do this.

Leaving the people behind in Singapore to be obedient was, is not and won't be easy (since my journey is not even half-way complete). Especially not being able to go to US with Hozea... especially not being around when he looks for a job... it's tough not being around when DGs start in motion, when the discipling starts, when my new nurture class is in, when my friends are also going through job changes... But I just know that there's something to it when David declares "I will NOT offer up something that costs me nothing". So I plod on... because the sacrifice of a ready heart is pleasing.. and I want to please Him.

The best miracle that "sealed the deal" was obtaining my visa in HK. Through great maneuvering by the One above, I met Uncle TH in Guangzhou, after telling Kel and the HK team that I was considering applying for a visa in HK at the embassy. I was directed to a travel agency and with a lot of grace and wonders... managed to get double-entry 30 days to China. Yes, this means I will have to travel in and out of Liannan by myself at least once. But this is such a blessing. I recall Serene saying that a month is a long time at the airport.. and I shocked her by saying that "Gd-willing, I'll be gone for 3 months". And lo and behold, it was.

Now it's my last day in Changsha and the emotions are very real. I am afraid. Truly a little disturbed at trying to find my way from Yangshuo to Liannan... and then the little outward bound trip to HK and back... But He who brought me so far, would not forsake me. =) I can trust the HS to add faith where I lack.

Thanks for all the requests made on my behalf to Him... I appreciate it cos I know that i've been buffered by grace all along.

happy enai

En'ai is a happy girl. =) If you are wondering why I have not been as free as I should be in boring ole China with my parents of all people, it's actually because my mother gave me a HUGE project to complete. Thanks to the One Above, I've completed a 24-page "booklet" for her. It's a booklet on banners and dance that she intends to use when she teaches.

Apart from that of course, my mother has kindly arranged activities to bless me back. Like in-kind payment? =) So I've been to visit the orphanage, been to the tailors, and today, went shopping!

Pictures above for all to share my joy especially Cheryl! I thought of her all too often as I roamed the streets today. Shopping in Changsha is not very good at all... but I bought all my stuff (or rather my mummy bought for me! =) ) from ONE store called MetersBonwe. All the tops (purple, white blouse, white tee and the shiny black blouse) are from there, so are the shorts. The dark grey skirt, dress and black pants are from the tailors (the tailoring here is good and super cheap -pants RMB 52)! and the khaki skirt a present from my mum. My mum actually called me when we were at the vocational school in Lian Nan to consult me on it! hahaha.

Oh! and the muffins.. I baked to bring to the orphanage for the kids. It was a blessing to me to see how Aunty Chew Ping's muffins and the long hours with hazel actually gave me a skill I can use to bless others... now my mummy loves them and has a stash in the fridge! =)

the journey of walking

I've been away for 18 days but it feels much longer. I'm not even sure what is happening in Singapore because I can only read blogs that are not on wordpress... and I can't even access the links of my friends because I don't remember them! (they're all stored on my blog which I can't get into)

I'm walking further and further away from my comfort zone, and into the "realm of the unknown", hoping and trusting that He is there, holding my hand. Leaving work was easy... possibly cos Jo and Eileen were not around and I was happy to leave the frustrating environment. Leaving my family at home was not so bad... maybe because it was very late, maybe because I've kinda left them for a long while, maybe because they've got their own things to do. Saying goodbye to church friends in malacca and at the airport was also not that bad... possibly because I got to take alot of my friends with me!

Trying to say goodbye to hozea was difficult. I cried... and almost cried again when I left him at the airport... It's not easy choosing to be in different country... and if I could be with him and do His will at the same time then I would. But we figured that part of my walk is walking apart from hozea at time. How can I bear it? grace and love... just like many other things in my life. I am very grateful for someone who releases me to walk in obedience and supports me and loves me, even though i've "abandoned" him in Singapore. It's just 3 months, we'll have the rest of our lives to make it up. =)

Saying bye to the China team before we headed to Shen Zhen and Hong Kong was kinda rushed and surreal. I actually can't believe that I won't talk to hazel for like 2 months! Eeps. but now that I think about it, I won't talk to any of the church people for about that period of time! Whoa... but without Kel in Hong Kong and Shen Zhen we were like fish out of water. It was honestly the hardest thing to leave Joel, Ben, Gabs and Cheryl in Hong Kong though... I hugged Cheryl, the boys prayed for me, and I walked off... sobbing and trying to hold it in. I think up to that point, i've been graciously buffered by having people around me.

Now, alone at home finally in a long while, I must confess I feel it. I miss hozea and wonder where on earth he is right now, cos my msges are not being replied. I miss all my BA people... and i think often about what is going on there- especially with Serene, my nurture class, the girls, cherie, the leaders... I miss Eileen and Jo very much... and I miss my jie and bro.

Yet I persist. I'm not whining or complaining because this is my journey to learn what walking in Him is like... Paul's experiences show me that there is so much to discover about Him when I go. So I went and I'm going and I will be gone! But I carry all of you in my heart.

In China where I cannot get through to wordpress

Ah... well...

In China where communication is sparse because
1) I'm on the road too often
(been to Malaysia, Lian Nan town and villages, Guangzhou, Shen Zhen, Hong Kong, Changsha in the span of 3.5 weeks?)
2) I lost my Singapore SIM card. Ask Hozea for my China number or email me
3) Everything is censored. I CANNOT access any wordpress blogs =(
4) Phone bills are expensive

Many things have happened recently, and I'll likely try and use this blog to update instead, and once I return to Singapore, move the posts back to wordpress, my happy home. =)

The schedule of things to come..
Changsha till 5th July
5th Jul - Heng Yang (orphanage site)
6th-10th - Yang Suo (family holiday in small Gui Ling)
10th July - 19th August - Lian Nan (6-weeks Summer course)

* Somewhere between 20-28th July I must head out to Hong Kong once all alone to exit and re-enter for visa purposes.